


The Last Three Season 1

by KarrineGenesis (orphan_account)



Series: The Last Three [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Real World, Breaking the Fourth Wall, F/M, Genderfluid Character, M/M, World Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 10:49:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2649233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/KarrineGenesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lane Valentine had a good life. An amazing life, with a loving, albeit a little crazy, mother, a brother, a small group of friends, Synesthesia, and her favorite show, Doctor Who. When she gets sucked into the show, a whole different universe, she finds out some truths about her life, like her actual species. Time Lord. Plus, she can feel the future. And she wasn't going to stay a 'she' for very long. MasterxOCxDoctor. OC. Deadpool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N on Fanfiction:  
> This chapter may not have actual characters of Doctor Who, but it will reference the show.  
> Doctor: She doesn’t own us at all.  
> Master: Thank god, I would be afraid for our lives if she did.  
> Me: *Sticks tongue out* F you! Lane played by Georgie Hanley. Well, this version, at least. And she has Synesthesia! This is the prologue, so it’s shorter than the other chapters will be.
> 
> A/N now:  
> So I have never been on AO3 before, so here's the prologue...  
> Deadpool: Yeah, I'm not in it until chapter 5, which means this story is terrible until then.  
> *Rolls eyes* He's like my co-writer, so he will be in the A/Ns all the time. Don't be alarmed.  
> Deadpool: Now read. And review. We like reviews.

Lane kicked the rock in front of her hard and hummed Doomsday from Doctor who softly. The song was a silvery gold color that shone like metal, and had the texture of the bumpy walls in her house. She rather liked the show, and sometimes when she was alone she would hum songs from them. She would also daydream about what it would be like to travel on the Tardis.  
“Lane!” She snapped to look behind her to see her best friend, Mia, the color of mossy green, and looked back forward.  
“Yeah, hey Mia.” She said softly, and resumed walking, but she stopped humming.  
“I saw it.” Mia said happily. Lane looked at her sharply. “Saw what?”  
“The magic shop! It wasn’t there 2 days ago, and suddenly there’s a massive building!” Lane turned back to the street in front of her.  
“Mia, I’m gonna go see it.” Lane said, and before Mia could ask if she could come with, Lane told her goodbye, and ran straight to where it was supposed to be.  
She wasn’t sure why she had wanted to see it.  
When she got to the shop, named Missouri’s Shop of Magic, she noticed the sign in front of the building, the very long sign.  
‘Shop for the Black Arts, White Magic, Charming, Conjuring, Demonology, Divination, Enchanting, Hexing, Hocus-Pocus, Necromancy, Occultism, Omens, Predictions, Rune, Sorcery, Voodoo, Witchcraft, and Wizardry.  
*Also includes canned ghosts, boxed monsters, and hunting weapons.’  
She stepped inside, and looked around at the relics. She stuffed her hand into her pocket and felt something weird, but when she pulled her hand out empty, she forgot all about it.  
She stopped in front of the cash register warily, and nearly fell over when a really light pink haired woman with bright blue eyes jumped up from behind the counter, and said in a sweet, almost breathy voice, “Oh, customer! Hello, I’m Missouri! Ooh, you are amazing! Sweet! I have something for you, something for you to eat!  
She was gone behind the counter again, and brought out a blue apple.  
“Just for you, Lethe.” She inhaled sharply and watched her with wide eyes.  
“Go on. For free.” Lane took the apple with shaky hands, nervousness curdling through her chest.  
Missouri was fire red. The texture of wet grass.  
She looked trustworthy.  
So Lane took the apple at bit in.  
“Good night, Snow White!” She called, as Lane fell to the floor, black engulfing her.  
Her mother would miss her. Her mother had found her, a naked child wrapped in a blanket.  
The forgotten one. With a fob watch tucked in the basket with her. And she would be known once again. Soon.


	2. Utopia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lane is found by the Doctor and Martha while in Cardiff. They pick her and, albeit accidently, pick up Jack Harkness. Now, why is there a broken fob watch in her pocket?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't add the old A/Ns anymore, if you would like to read them, this story is on Fanfiction under just The Last Three.  
> Deadpool: This chapter is long... blegh...  
> They won't think that.  
> Deadpool: I just can't wait for reviews.

The Doctor stopped the Tardis in Cardiff. “Cardiff!”  
“Cardiff?” Martha asked incredulously.  
“Ah, but thing about Cardiff, it’s built on a rift in Time and Space!”   
There was a thump outside, and they both looked up.  
“What was that?” The Doctor asked no one in particular.  
They opened the door and Martha stared in shock at the 19 year old sleeping on the side of the Tardis.  
They looked at each other and pulled her in.  
“I was going to say it would only take twenty seconds for the Tardis to refuel and then we’d be on our way but-“He was cut off as suddenly the Tardis started dematerializing. “What?” He cried, running to the console.  
He caught a glimpse of Jack Harkness, then the woman awoke, gasping for breath.  
Her blue eyes shone with confusion as she looked at her surroundings.  
“What?” She asked, recognizing her surroundings in an abstract way. She stared at the Doctor and said in a soft voice, “Doctor? No, no, that’s not right.” She looked to her hands. “Last I remembered, I ate a blue apple.” The Doctor gave her a confused look.  
He reeled back suddenly when the Tardis sparked, and he looked to where they were going.  
“That’s not right!” “Where are we going?” Martha asked.  
“The end of the universe.”  
“I’m Lane. Lane Valentine, by the way.” Martha gave her an uneasy smile and turned back to the Doctor as they landed.  
“What’s out there?”  
“Don’t know.”  
“Oh, say that again.”  
“Not even the Time Lords came this far. We should leave, we should go. We should really really…” The Doctor smiled and ran to the Doors.  
“Are you coming, Lane?” He asked, and she stood and smiled at him, nodding.  
They ran out and she looked straight at the Tardis. Something whispered in her mind, but she ignored it.  
“Which would you rather me say?” She asked him. “Bigger on the inside or smaller on the out?”  
“Oh, my god!” Martha suddenly cried, and Lane snapped to look where Martha had ran up to a very familiar person. Though, only on TV.  
“I can’t get a pulse. Hold on, you’ve got that medical-kit thing.” Martha ran past Lane into the Tardis, and Lane dropped down to look at him.  
“Wow, held on through the time vortex. Any normal person would be as good as dead but he’s not staying that way for very long, now is he?” Lane asked the Doctor, looking towards him.  
He watched her almost coldly. “How would you know that?” He asked, and she was about to answer when she suddenly forgot.  
She wasn’t sure what she forgot either. She still knew all about Martha and the Tardis and The Doctor and the man laying at her feet but she didn’t know how.  
She vaguely remembered a shop… a woman who cared for her… a blonde boy, probably family.  
She remembered her name… and the colors. “I… don’t remember.” She said truthfully, and the Doctor’s face dropped to one of mild concern.  
Martha got there and practically pushed Lane out of the way, but she didn’t mind at all. She was busy looking at her surroundings, trying to remember.  
Future Kind, humans, Yana, Master, watch, Utopia…  
There was that whisper again.  
Watch? Did it want her to watch something? Or did it mean watch like those portable clocks?  
Jack gasped for air and Lane snapped to look at him. “Captain Jack Harkness. And who are you?” He asked.  
“Martha Jones.”  
“Nice to meet you, Martha Jones.”   
“Oh, don’t start!”  
“I was only saying hello.”  
“I don’t mind.”  
Lane watched in mild amusement, as Jack stood and looked to her.  
“Hello, as you heard, I’m Captain Jack Harkness.” Lane smiled and put her hand out to shake hands with him. “Lane Valentine.”  
“Beautiful name.”  
“Oi!” The Doctor warned, and Jack rolled his eyes.  
He turned to the Doctor and started, “Doctor.”  
“Captain.”  
“Good to see you.” Lane smiled slightly at the encounter.  
“And you. Same as ever. Although… have you had work done?”  
Jack glared at the Doctor. “You can talk.”  
“Oh, yes, the face. Regeneration. How did you know this was me?”  
“I’m pretty sure the Tardis kind of gives it away.” Lane put in, and leaned on the box. A voice was saying something in another language the exact time she said it, and they all gave her shocked looks.  
“Did she just speak Gallifreyan?” Jack asked, shock evident in his voice.  
“Galli- I’m sorry, what?” Lane asked, in English.  
“Do you have a watch?” The Doctor asked suddenly. Lane got this confused look, then it cleared and she said, “Oh, yes, I do. But it’s broken.”  
“Have you ever opened it?” Martha asked. She opened her mouth as if to answer, then clicked her tongue to the roof of her mouth in thought. “No, not that I remember.”  
“Then how do you know it’s broken?” Jack asked.  
”The latch is stuck, won’t open.”  
“How long have you had it? Can I see it?” The Doctor asked, and she shrugged. “Sure. I’ve had it my whole life. Don’t see why you would want to see it.” She took the Fob watch out of her pocket and handed it to the Doctor, who paled.  
“This is a good thing, right?” Martha asked.  
“You aren’t alone anymore, right?” The Doctor looked up at Lane.  
“Depends which one.”  
He gave it back to her. “What is that thing?” Jack asked.   
“It’s this chameleon thing-“, Martha started, but the Doctor shook his head. “No it’s this thing- this device. It changes Time Lords into Humans.”  
Jack looked at him. “So you aren’t the only one.” He breathed.  
“I guess not.” Then he noticed her pressing the button.  
“No!” But he was too late. Gold energy floated around her, and then she dropped the watch.  
“Doctor.” She said.  
“Which one are you? Who are you?” He asked, and she giggled childishly, like a friend of his used to do, so many times. One of the rarer unisex Time Lords who flip flopped from gender to gender easily. They could easily get pregnant as a guy.  
“The Outcast.” He said softly.  
She spread her arms out wide.  
“It’s me!” Suddenly screaming filled the air, and she went serious, running towards them so fast even the Doctor had to hurry to keep up.  
“No, hold on, how did you survive?!” The Doctor yelled after her.  
She stopped, and looked around.  
“What? What did you hear?” The Doctor asked.  
“What? You didn’t hear it?” She asked, confused.  
“Remember, you hear the future. We don’t.”   
She opened her mouth, then shut it. “Oh, right. I don’t have a good memory.”  
*Later, when they find the Future Kind*  
“They must have an atmospheric shell. We should be frozen to death.” Jack speculated.  
“Well, Martha, the Outcast, and I, maybe. Not so sure about you Jack.”  
“But what about the people? Does no one survive?” Martha asked.  
“He’s looking pretty good.” Lane said, shrugging and pointing at the man running for his life.  
“Probably should save him from those things though. Oh, that’s where the screams came from!” She cried, and ran off after them.  
“It looks like a hunt.” The Doctor whispered, following. Jack and Martha weren’t very far behind.  
“Oh, I’ve missed this!” Jack yelled happily.  
Jack pointed his gun at them, but the Doctor shouted at him, “Don’t you dare!” Jack rolled his eyes and shot into the air.  
Lane watched them in slightly morbid fascination. “What are those things?” She asked, toothy grin plastered on her face.  
“There’s more of them, we’ve got to keep going!” The man yelled.  
“I’ve got a ship nearby!” The Doctor told him, and Lane said in a loud voice, “That’s not going to help!” The way they came was now blocked off by these fascinating things.  
They snarled, and she said, “Oh, beautiful!”  
“The silo isn’t far, if we get there, we’ll be safe!”  
“Silo?” The Doctor asked.  
“Silo!” Jack responded.  
“Silo for me!” Martha affirmed.  
“Do you really even have to ask?” Lane asked, and grabbed Jack and Martha’s had, running in the direction the man was now leading them.  
“Show me your teeth!”  
Lane gave a grimace and bared her teeth.  
“Human! Let them in, let them in! Close, close, close!”  
He shot at their feet, and Lane ignored them as she remembered something for a fleeting moment, then it was gone.  
“Can you take me to Utopia?”  
“Oh yes sir, yes I can.”  
*Meanwhile*   
“Professor, we have 5 new humans on board. One of them is calling himself a Doctor.”  
“Of medicine?”  
“He says of everything.” Yana looked down, then gasped in delight and turned to Chantho. “A scientist! Oh, my word!”  
He stuttered for a moment, then said, “Chantho, just, um, uh, oh I don’t know! I’m coming!” He called up to the intercom, pushing Chantho out of the way and rushing to leave.  
*With the group*  
“It’s like a blue box- a big blue box!” The Doctor explained.  
“It says Police on it.” Lane added, slightly unhelpfully.  
“I’m sorry, but I really need it back. It’s stuck out there.” Lane got handed a card, and her heart almost broke at the urgency of the man’s voice. “I’m looking for my family, did they get here?”  
They talked a little, and then the soldier called out for a little boy.  
Lane gasped slightly and walked closer.  
“How old are you?” She asked.  
“Old enough to work. This way.” He said shortly.  
“No, wait, do you have family?” Lane tried again.  
“No, just me.”  
He called out for Kistane and Beltone Shafecane, but Lane ignored it in favor of listening to the sounds of the past, present, and future combining. The colors bleeding together. Sometimes it became a pain, but really, sometimes it saved her life.  
The man found his family.  
“It’s not all bad news!”   
Jack flirted with some guy, and the Doctor tried to open something.  
Jack held onto him and asked, “How did you survive without me?”  
They talked some, and finally closed it.  
“But if the universe is falling apart, what does Utopia mean?” A man walked up to them when the Doctor asked this.  
He looked between the Doctor and Jack, then pointed to Jack. “The Doctor?”  
Lane shook her head. “No, he’s the Captain. That’s the Doctor.” She pointed to him.  
“Oh Good!” He pulled the Doctor along and kept shouting good.  
“It’s good, apparently.” The Doctor added, and there came Lane’s childish laughter.  
The others ran ahead as she walked at a brisk pace.  
No one but her noticed the Future Kind who smiled, showing her teeth.  
“Might not want to smile, mate.” She whispered, then smiled at it, the same morbid curiosity glinting through her eyes.  
“Chan, welcome, tho!” A blue insect creature welcomed happily, but Lane ignored her in favor of the couch she was now sitting on, taking a good look at the room.  
“This is the gravitissimal accelerator…” The talking faded out of her mind as she went through her pockets.  
A sonic screwdriver with an orange tip in purple and gold casing with gold bars covering the tip came out first, and they opened when she put it in the second mode.  
She stood and walked to the reverse booster thing and shined her Screwdriver at it.  
The lights turned on and whirring in the room sounded.  
“Chan, it’s working, tho!” Chantho cried in disbelief.  
The group looked to Lane, who had promptly put her screwdriver back.  
“I’m sorry, did I break it?” She asked sheepishly.  
“No, you fixed it! I could kiss you!” Yana shouted, looking around in awe.  
“Oh my god! You’ve got a hand!” Martha cried out. “A hand in a jar! A hand, in jar, in your bag!”  
“Th-that’s my hand!”  
“I said I had a Doctor detector.”  
“Chan, is this a custom amongst your people, tho?”  
“Not on my street, what do you mean that’s your hand? You’ve got both of them!”  
Lane rolled her eyes and continued to explore.  
“May I ask what species you are?”  
“Time Lord- last of.”  
“Oi!” Lane yelled, popping over to glare at him.  
“Almost last of. She’s the only other one. Heard of them?”  
At their expressions, he furrowed his eyebrows. “Legend or anything?”  
He got 2 no’s at that.  
“Not even a myth?”  
“Wow, so much for a dominant race- end of the universe is quite humbling.” Lane commented.  
“Chan, it is said that I am the last of my species, tho.”  
“Sorry, what was your name?” The Doctor asked.  
Before she could answer, Lane said, “Oh Doctor, take her words and put them together. I’ve barely known her and I’m sick of her Chans and her Thos! Her name is Chantho, and I’m sorry, Chantho, that I snapped, but please, stop saying that at the beginning and end of your sentence, I’ll give you anything!”  
Silence met her rant, and Chantho said, “Chan, it would be rude though, tho!”  
“Not to us.”  
She took a deep breath. “Alright.” Chantho said, then giggled. “That felt nice!” Lane smiled at her.  
“I bet it did. I liberated you from your Chans and Thos!”  
She laughed that slightly morbid childish laugh again, and went off to explore, dragging Chantho with her. Lane warned her that if she started saying Chan and Tho again, she’d leave the insect behind.  
The Doctor watched her walk off, and Yana asked, “Is there anything wrong with her?” The Doctor shrugged.  
“No Idea.”  
“What is Utopia?”  
“Every human knows about Utopia, where have you been?”  
“Bit of a hermit.”  
“A hermit? With, uh, friends?”  
“Hermits united. We meet up every ten years, swap stories about caves. It’s good fun- for a hermit.”  
“Good one, Doctor!” Lane yelled.  
*Later*  
Lane jumped as she heard a familiar drumbeat originating from somewhere, and then it was gone.  
All the passengers were boarding.  
“Oh, sweet!” She cried, and Chantho gave her a confused look.  
“Sweet?”  
“Creet! Oh, there you are! Good luck little boy!” She smiled at the boy, bending to look into his eyes.  
He smiled at her. “What do you think it’s going to be like in Utopia?” She asked.  
“My mum used to say the skies were made of diamonds.” He said excitedly.  
Lane’s heart soared. “Oh, would you like to see diamonds? You would have to go on the Doctor’s ship though, not the one to Utopia. It’s nice, you never have to worry about future kind or anything. And it’s much more beautiful.” She said, but the boy shook his head.  
“I would love to, but I can’t. I have to stay here, I have to see Utopia!”  
“Are you sure?” Lane asked.  
“Positive, Ma’am.”  
“Then go on, get your seat.”  
They walked off, and Lane looked back to see the Future Kind.  
She glared and walked off.  
“Beautiful, but terrible.”  
They got back to the control room where Yana, Jack, Martha, and the Doctor were.  
As the Doctor worked in the Tardis, Lane watched apprehensively.  
“You haven’t asked anything. Why do you trust me? I could easily steal the Tardis whenever I wanted.” She said.  
“If you wanted to steal the Tardis, you would have done it already.”  
“Don’t you want to know how I survived? You did ask before.”  
“How?” He asked, but she could tell his heart wasn’t really into it.  
“I followed the instructions of a friend.”  
He looked up at that. “Who?” He asked sharply.  
Before she could answer, Jack called for him, and the Doctor gave her a look that practically screamed, ‘This isn’t over.’  
Lane followed slowly.  
She wasn’t sure what she was put off by, but she felt that she was treading dangerous waters. Really dangerous waters.  
“You don’t have to keep working, we can handle it.” She said to Yana, kneeling next to him.  
“It’s just a headache, it’s just this noise inside my head, Outcast. Constant noise inside my head.” She positioned herself back against her thighs.  
“What sort of noise?” She asked softly.  
“It’s the sound of drums, more and more, as though it’s getting closer.” She listened as the sound of drums grew louder, as if him thinking of it caused her to hear it.  
For all she knew, that was the case. “When did it start?” She asked softly.  
“Oh, I’ve had it all my life, every waking hour.” He inhaled sharply, standing up. “Still, no rest for the wicked.” Lane smiled and stood with him, walking off to speak with Jack.  
Jack turned to her for a second, then back to what he was doing.  
“Be nice with the Doctor, alright?” Jack told her, and she shrugged.  
“What would I do?”  
“Well, you’re a Time Lord, he’s a Time Lord, you’re a woman, and he’s a man…”  
“That’s not exactly true. I’m one of those rare Time Lords that change genders every other regeneration. I was a man last regeneration, I’ll be a man next regeneration. I got used to it pretty quickly- was born a girl. Told me I was going to be a boy next, so… what can you do?” Jack stared at her, and went back to what he was doing.  
Right.  
Lane turned to where the others were talking.  
“But the entire chamber is flooded with stet radiation.”  
“Stet? Never heard of it.” The Doctor said.  
“You wouldn’t want to. But it’s safe enough. We can hold the radiation back from here.”  
Lane watched as the person in the room pressed all the buttons. She had no clue whatsoever what the heck the kid was doing.  
Suddenly an alarm came on and Lane yelled behind her, “Keep it level, Jack!”  
“Yes Ma’am!”  
“Do I look like a ma’am to you?!”  
“Yes… miss?”  
She suddenly gasped in shock as she fell to the floor.  
“Oh, no, no, what’s happening, what’s wrong? Something bad is going to happen, get him out of there!” The Doctor yelled.  
So much yelling, screaming… sharp teeth. All these colors and sounds and above all else that incessant drumbeat.  
Tap Tap Tap-Tap.  
Tap Tap Tap-Tap.  
Tap Tap Tap-Tap.  
Stupid drums.  
And then that stupid alarm was mixing in. Too much colors were bursting through her vision, unable to really see anything.  
Pain overrode her chest as she felt, heard, tasted, and smelled, everything that was happening.   
Jack put the 2 wires together and she screamed as she felt a similar pain.  
And then that poor boy died, and bliss fell over her.  
The Doctor helped her up, more worried about the Outcast than the Captain.  
“The chamber’s… flooded with Radiation, yes?” Lane asked.  
“Without the couplings, the engines will never start. It was all for nothing!”  
“Oh, I don’t know. Martha, leave him.”  
“You’ve got to let me try!”  
“Come on, come on, just listen to me. Leave him alone.”  
Lane stretched, and said, “It strikes me, professor, that you have a room that no one can go in without-…” She dragged a finger across her throat. “Is that correct?” She asked.  
“Yes.”  
“Well…” The Doctor started, and Jack took a deep gasping breath, as the Doctor took off his glasses.  
“I think we’ve got just the man.” He finished.  
“Was someone kissing me?” Jack asked in a high pitched voice.  
The Doctor, Jack, and Lane ran down the hallway at a dead sprint.  
“Lieutenant, get on the rocket, I promise you’re going to fly!” The Doctor cried.  
“The chamber’s flooded!” He protested.  
“Trust us, we’ve found a person who can go in there without dying!” Lane cried, nearly pushing the Lieutenant off of his chair.  
He left, and the 2 looked to Jack.  
“Wh-what are you taking your clothes off for?” The Doctor asked incredulously.  
“I’m going in!” He explained.  
“Well, by the looks of it, I’d say that stet radiation doesn’t affect clothing, only flesh.” The Doctor said, looking back at him.  
“But he’ll look sexy doing it, don’t you think?” Lane asked.  
“Oh, come on, not you to!”  
Jack ran to the door, and looked behind him at the Doctor.  
“How long have you known?”  
“Ever since I ran away from you.”  
Before they could stare anymore, Lane interrupted, “Sorry to break up this romantic moment, but go on in there, Jack, there’s children in that rocket!” Jack opened the door and went in, and the Doctor looked at her.  
“You really are something, you know that?”  
She smiled at him. “That’s why I’m the Outcast!”  
The Doctor rolled his eyes and watched inside.  
Lane ignored the conversation they decided to have, and sat back.  
“Fell off a cliff, trampled by horses, World War I, World War II, poison, starvation… a stray javelin.”  
The Doctor grimaced at that. “Ooh.”  
“In the end, I got the message. I’m the man who can never die. And all that time, you knew.” He accused.  
Lane didn’t like the emotions coming from this conversation. Puffs of colors were appearing, all the anger, the accusation, even the faint strand of… was that apology?  
“Just looking at you, Jack, ‘cause you’re wrong.”  
“Thanks.”  
“You are, I can’t help it. I’m a Time Lord, its instinct. It’s in my guts.”  
“Oh yeah? Lane, is that what you feel when you look at me?”   
“You can’t count her opinion, that’s why she was named the Outcast. She was different then all the rest.”  
“Hey! Jack, however much I don’t like it, he is right. I feel things differently. In colors. You’re dark orange. The stay away color. Yes, you are wrong, but in the end you have a bright yellow center. In the end… you’re the most beautiful thing out there.”  
“So I’m a Crazy Core Skittle? Wait, are you flirting with me?” Jack asked.  
“What? No!” She snarled, and turned to look back at the monitor.  
Get his mind out of the gutter sometime.  
She’s gone Jack. She’s not just living on a parallel world, she’s trapped there. The walls have closed.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Yeah.”  
“I went back to her estate, back in the 90s, just once or twice. Watched her growing up. Never said hello.” Jack grunted and continued in a strained voice, “Timelines and all that.”  
“Do you want to die?”  
“This one’s a little stuck.”  
“Jack.” Oh god, no more angst, she hated that stupid Baja Breeze blue that came with it. Doesn’t mean she really hated angst. Just the color.  
The only thing that snapped her out of her reverie was Martha running in.  
“Oh, right, rocket.” The 4 started to press the buttons.  
“Doctor, it’s the Professor.” Martha started, and Lane snapped her head up.  
“What’s with him?” She asked.  
“He’s got a Fob watch, just like you both did! The same as yours, same writing on it, same… everything.” She directed the last sentence right to Lane.  
The Doctor stared at her.  
“Don’t be ridiculous.”  
“I asked him.” Martha said.  
“Oh, so there’s a third one out there then? That’s great Doctor!” Jack cried.  
Lane swiftly turned to him. “That depends on who it is.” She said coldly.  
“Yeah, I got lucky with the Outcast, who knows who this person could be, if he’s a Time Lord. Which I highly doubt.” He added the last part quickly, and kept flipping switches.  
“What did he say, Martha?” He asked, and then suddenly got closer to her, yelling, “What did he say?!”  
Martha stuttered, “He looked at the watch like he could hardly see it, like that perception-filter thing.”  
“What about now? Can he see it now?” Lane asked.  
“If he escaped the Time War, the end of the universe, it would be the perfect hiding place.” Jack said.  
“Think about what the face of Boe said. His dying words.”  
“Well, I thought he was talking about the Outcast!” The Doctor pointed at Lane.  
The boosters rumbled and screaming was heard.  
“He said You Are Not Alone!”  
“Yana! It was an Acronym!” Lane yelled in that same morbid childish glee.  
“Lieutenant have you done it, have you gained velocity?! Have you done it?! Lieutenant, have you done it?!” The Doctor yelled.  
“Affirmative. We’ll see you in Utopia.”  
“Good luck.” Away the phone went, and the 4 went running to the door, which promptly closed one them.  
“No!”   
Lane stepped back, and the Doctor opened the door.  
They ran, getting stopped by the Future Kind.  
Lane heard crackling in her head, then stopped, as she heard his name.  
“I… am… the Master.”  
“Keep going!”  
Too much yelling, too much color.  
Then a gun shot, and Lane flinched.  
The door was finally open.  
The Master went straight into the Tardis, and locked it.  
“Let me in! I’m begging you, everything’s changed!” The Doctor cried.  
“It’s only the three of us, we’re the only ones left!” Lane screamed to him.  
“Just let us in!”  
Lane stepped back, and turned to the door.  
“Give me your arm.” She demanded to Jack. Gold and screaming came through the Tardis, and she grimaced, catching a glimpse of the Future Kind.  
She fiddled with the Time Vortex manipulator and got it working. Now they just had to wait for the Doctor.  
“Now then, Doctor, Outcast- oh, new voice! Hello. Hello! Hello. Anyway. Why don’t we stop and have a nice little chat over tea and crumpets where I give you my entire plan, Outcast finds a really violent way to stop me, and you completely shut down her whole plan? I don’t think!”  
“Hold on, I know that voice!” Martha said.  
“I’m asking you, really properly, just stop, just think!” The Doctor pleaded.  
“Use my name.”  
“Master… I’m sorry.”  
“Tough!” The Master tried to fly the Tardis, and the Doctor locked the mechanism.  
“We can’t hold much longer, Doctor!” Lane yelled.  
“Oh no you don’t! End of the universe, have fun! Bye-bye!”  
Once the Tardis was gone, fed up with him, Lane grabbed the Doctor’s arm and slammed her hand on the button.  
TBC  
Cast:   
The Doctor – David Tennant  
Martha Jones – Freema Agyeman  
Captain Jack Harkness – John Barrowman  
The Outcast (Lane) – Georgie Hanley  
Professor Yana – Derek Jacobi  
Chantho – Chipo Chung  
The Master – John Simm  
Lieutenant Atillo – Neil Reidman  
Creet – John Bell  
Authoress: Karrine Genesis A.K.A Karrine Schwimley  
Next time on The Last Three:  
“Let the work of government begin!” The Master said, throwing the papers he held in his hands up into the air.  
“Diplomatic relations with a new species.”  
An explosion rattled the house behind the Doctor, the Outcast, Martha, and Jack.  
Gas spread in the office, the Master wearing a mask.  
“Take aim.” A blonde woman said.  
“Run for your life!” The Master yelled through the phone.  
“Fire!” The blonde woman commanded.  
“I said RUN!” The Master basically screamed angrily into the phone.  
“Air force one has landed on British soil.” A newscaster said on the TV.  
“Mr. President, sir!” The Master saluted.  
“From now on, unit has control of this operation.” The president told the Master sternly.  
“And what this country really needs right now, is an outcast, and a doctor.” The Master grinned madly.


	3. The Sound Of Drums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Outcast (Lane) and the Doctor reunite with the Master in the worst of ways, and a figure from the Outcast's past comes back to take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The character I introduce is an evil bitch, pardon my language.  
> Deadpool: Pardon your language? You curse like a sailor.  
> And I'm sorry about that. Please review.

“Time travel without a capsule, that’s a killer!” The Doctor groaned.  
Lane cracked her neck as the others adjusted to real life.  
Just one thing she had to say- ow!  
“Still, at least we made it. Earth, 21st century by the looks of it.” Jack chuckled. “Talk about lucky.”  
Lane rolled her eyes. “That wasn’t luck, that was me!” She said, sticking her tongue out at him.  
They sat down. “The moral is, if you’re going to get stuck at the end of the universe, get stuck with an ex-time agent and his vortex manipulator.” Jack added.  
“Yeah, but it doesn’t work without a Time Lord and her sonic screwdriver!” Lane chirped excitedly.  
“But this Master bloke, he’s got the Tardis, he could be anywhere in time and space.” Martha said, slight fear in her voice.  
“No, he’s here.” The Doctor said sullenly.  
“Really? How do you- oh, that’s what you did with your sonic while I was saving everyone’s lives. Actually, you saved everyone’s, I saved ours. We make a good team.” Lane smiled at the Doctor, and his lips flicked upward for a split second, and fell again.  
“Who is he anyway? I mean, that voice at the end, that wasn’t the Professor.”  
“If the Master’s a Time Lord, then he must have regenerated.” Jack started.  
“Good riddance to the Professor, this new Master is a tiny bit sexy!” Lane grinned, and ignored the odd looks. “And he is the Professor by the way. Was. Isn’t but on the same level is? He changed everything about him, age, face, voice, body….” Lane’s voice died away as she noticed the hobo across the street tapping out the beat.  
“Then how are we going to find him?” Martha asked.  
“We’ll know. I’ll know. No matter who he is, he’s always the same silver gold color as Doomsday, but the texture of… a river stone.” She stood abruptly.  
“Missed the election, haven’t we?” She asked, and walked off to the TV.  
“But hold on, if he could be anyone…” Martha realized.  
“God, what is it like in your funny little brains? You’re so slow, so thick!” Lane called out to her and Jack, waiting for the TV. Any minute now…  
“Mr. Saxon has returned from the palace, and is greeting the crowds inside Saxon headquarters.”   
“I said I knew that voice when he spoke inside the Tardis. I’ve heard that voice hundreds of times, I’ve seen him, we all have!” Martha gasped.  
“That was the voice of Harold Saxon!” Lane and Martha said in unison. Cue that glare from Martha.  
Jeeze, she needs to lighten up a little bit.  
“That’s him. He’s prime minister.” The Doctor breathed.  
“The Master is prime minister of Great Britain.” The Doctor whispered.  
“This country has been sick. This country needs healing, originality, creativity. This country needs medicine. In fact, I’d go as far as to say what this country really needs, right now, is an Outcast, and a Doctor.”  
Theme:  
BBC/KarrineGenesis  
David Tennant  
John Barrowman  
Freema Agyeman   
Georgie Henley  
John Simm  
DOCTOR WHO: THE LAST THREE  
The Sound Of Drums by KarrineGenesis/Basis by Russell T Davies  
“Let the work of government, begin!” Lane heard it, in her head. It was much worse than those god-awful drums in the Master’s, because every time it was different. You knew everything to happen, but it was so vague that it didn’t actually matter much. Just an inconvenience.  
Fluttering paper… Jeeze, the Master is so weird sometimes.  
“It’s funny, isn’t it?” She said aloud with the Master in her head.  
“What?!” The Doctor snapped to look at her.  
“Nothing.”  
He gave her a wary look, with concern laced underneath, but decided he would believe her. For now.  
She followed almost silently to Martha’s flat.  
“This is your reward. It’s a gas mask. Because of the gas. This gas.”  
Wow, mass murder.  
And there was that drumbeat.  
They were on the laptop, Saxon website…  
There, something interesting!  
“You gonna tell us who he is?”  
“He was a good friend, from the academy. A Time Lord, just like us.” Lane explained.  
“What about the rest of it? I mean, who’d call himself ‘The Master?” Martha asked.  
Lane grew quiet. “Someone caused him to go insane. You know, it’s not all his fault. I would have become just like him if I had left everyone behind to, especially with all this in my head, our heads.” She whispered, hand shaking beside her head to emphasize what she had just explained.  
The Doctor was busy with the website, Martha was checking her answering machine…  
The Master was speaking with the magazine woman. Wasn’t there supposed to be a wife? It’s as if her being there was changing things, but she could barely remember. Jesus, really bad memory.  
Lane decided it was a good time for a walk.  
“Outcast, where are you going?” The Doctor asked.  
Only Jack noticed the slight flinch when he said that.   
“Out. I’ll be back. Don’t worry.”  
And out the door she went, and wispy red puff slamming from the door.  
She nestled into the coat she had put on, and closed her eyes, letting the cool wind blow across her.  
She had a bad memory, but if she played this right… She could remember back at the time war, back in her regeneration from before, when she was a boy…  
So much blood, lasers, yelling, screaming… He had to get away, He had to run away.  
Snow fell onto the ground softly, powder beneath his bloody palms as he fell to the ground. He had ran, ran far enough away that the Daleks and the Time Lords were just a faint buzzing in the back of his head. And the colors fell like snow…  
“Are you alright?” A boy asked. He looked up sharply. “It’s ok, I’m just asking!”  
He noticed that he didn’t say, ‘I’m not going to hurt you.’  
He had said that he was just asking. “I’m fine.” The Outcast said slowly, standing to leave.  
‘I need to get away.’ He thought, over and over, especially when the boy snarled at him with sharp canines. “You’re coming with me, different one. The easy way, or the hard way.”  
Was it just her, or was everything getting brighter?  
Her eyes snapped open.  
She was in front of Martha’s door again.  
Lane opened the door and walked in sullenly, but didn’t close it behind her. Something was wrong…  
“Time and time again, and the government told you nothing. Well not me, not Harold Saxon. Because my purpose here today, is to tell you this; citizens of Great Britain, I have been contacted. A message for humanity from beyond the stars.” The Master gave a nod on the telly, and on came a grainy image of a robotic orb, with a childish voice  
“People of the Earth, we come in piece. We bring great gifts- we bring technology, and wisdom, and protection. And all we ask in return is your friendship.” The last word echoed in the back of Lane’s mind, and she blinked heavily.  
“Aw, sweet. And this species has identified itself. They’re called the Toclafane.”  
“Oh, he did not!” Lane scoffed, laughter in her voice. The Doctor said at the same time she spoke, “What?!”  
“And tomorrow morning they will appear, not in secret, but to all of you.”  
The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up his forehead.  
“Diplomatic relations with a new species will begin. Tomorrow, we take our place in the universe. Every man, woman, and child, every teacher and chemist, and lorry driver, and farmer.”  
Lane turned swiftly to the door, grabbing Jack’s hand and running.  
“Oh, I don’t know, every…”  
“What’s wrong?!” Jack yelled over the now whipping wind.  
They stopped on the sidewalk just as Martha and the Doctor ran out as well.  
“Medical student.” She whispered, almost inaudibly as the flat blew up.  
“Alright?” The Doctor called.  
Lane tuned them out as she turned to watch around her.  
There was a way she could save Martha’s family, right? There had to be…  
“I can’t, not now-!”  
Lane grabbed the phone.  
“Hello? Mrs. Jones, I would like to speak to the blonde beside you.” Silence met her request, on both sides.  
“Blondie? You’re listening, correct? The Master’s listening in, of course. Well I got something to tell him, to tell all of you. Don’t invoke the rath of the Outcast. You aren’t going to like it, so leave the Jones alone.”  
Bad idea. She already realized it once she started to speak. Such a terrible idea.  
Then the blonde answered. “Oh, it’s you. I should have known it would be you. Not a great place to talk at the moment thought, is it? Queel-“  
“Stop it.”  
“-dshyrak… Just so you know who it is.”  
“Miss, you shouldn’t even know my name. Who are you?”  
“Someone who is very happy we forced you into a regeneration. Now, before anyone starts to understand what we are saying, I give you 5 days. You should be done by then. You should be ours soon enough.”  
Click. Dial tone.  
Lane let her hand slowly fall limp at her side.  
Martha didn’t even bother trying to take the phone out of her death grip.  
“What’s wrong, what did she say?” The Doctor asked, worry creasing on his face.  
All of them were worried.  
She didn’t like it.  
“Just forget it… I don’t have to worry until 5 days from now.”  
“What?!”   
“Nothing.”  
“We have to check on them.” Martha said. “No, alright, just go somewhere else.”  
The car was too erratic, where were they going?  
Oh, the stupid idiot, she went to her parents.  
“Target identified!” That blonde again, staring straight into her soul.  
Those eyes flash grey purple.  
“Take aim.”  
“Martha reverse.”  
Yelling, so much yelling…  
“FIRE!”  
The cart peeled out, glass shattering.  
“We’ve got to ditch the car, listen to me, Martha.” Jack commanded, and Martha nodded reluctantly.  
They were walking now.  
Martha was on the phone.  
“Let them go Saxon.”  
They all snapped to look at her.  
“Do you hear me?! Let them go!!” The Doctor peeled the phone away from Martha, and Lane cursed her slowness.  
“I’m here.”  
“Doctor.”  
“Master.”  
The Master chuckled lightly. “I like it when you use my name.”  
“You chose it.”  
There was that whirring noise again.  
Oh god Damnit.  
She fell straight into Jack’s arms, and she heard him take a sharp intake of breath as her memory ingrained itself into his head.  
The boy snarled again and grabbed both of the Outcast’s wrists, easily crushing them both with an audible ‘snap’ that caused his stomach to churn violently.  
“You’re ours, and you always will be. You have been chosen.”  
Jack took a shaky breath and propped Lane up.  
She had tears in her eyes, and she was mumbling sorries at him.  
Jack consoled her silently, as they listened to nothing.  
“Where is it, Doctor?”  
“Gone.”  
“How can Gallifrey be gone?”  
Lane let Jack go, and followed behind the Doctor, listening in.  
“It burnt.”  
“And the Time Lords?”  
“Dead. And the Daleks. More or less. What happened to you?”  
“The Time Lords only resurrected me because they knew I’d be the perfect warrior for a Time War.”  
Pain sparked in Lane’s head at those words.  
“Hetamax, did you have someone in particular that you are keen on resurrecting for the war?” Silence fell across the room, and the Outcast rapped his knuckles on the wooden platform in front of him, in the beat of the drums- of a Time Lord’s heartbeat.  
“Are you sure? Hetamax, you only get to choose one. You have to be sure about this, Outcast.”  
He took a deep breath. “The Master. Bring back Koschei.”  
“You loved him, right next to the Doctor. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment!” Rassilon snarled at him.  
“He would be the perfect warrior in a Time War. I chose Koschei.”  
‘I need my Master and my Doctor, right next to me.’  
“No.” She said suddenly, which startled both of the other Time Lords.  
“No?” The Doctor asked.  
“What do you mean, ‘no’?” The Master asked from the phone.  
“It was a choice. My choice. They gave me a choice, which one I wanted resurrected. I chose you. That was my excuse- perfect warrior for a Time War. My real reason, was that I needed my Master and my Doctor, right beside me.”  
“I was there when the Dalek Emperor took control of the Cruciform. I ran. I ran so far. Made myself human so they would never find me, because I was so scared.” The Master said, trying to instill regret and guilt into the Outcast.  
It worked.  
“I know, I was selfish, and I’m sorry. But I learned my lesson. I really did.” The last sentence was quieter and filled with an emotion that quickly overcame both of their minds. But it didn’t make any sense.   
It was… Maroon?  
“And I ran to. So much farther than you.” She laughed, but it wasn’t that morbid childish laughter this time. It was a bitter laugh that sounded far away…  
And her eyes dimmed. “All of them?” The Master asked.  
“But not you 2.”  
“I was the only one who could end it.” The Doctor said softly.  
“And I tried, I did, I tried everything.” The Doctor continued.  
“What did it feel like, though?” The Master asked.  
“Two almighty civilizations, burning. Oh, tell me. How did that feel?”  
“I watched it.” Lane suddenly cut in, but her eyes weren’t there.  
She was stuck in a memory.  
“I bet it hurt like hell.” She continued.  
“Look at what one of your best friends did.” A woman stood next to him, watching the screen in front of them.  
“He saved the universe-!” The Outcast tried, pushing on his restraints again and stifling a cry of pain. ‘My damn broken wrists…’  
She turned swiftly to look at him, eyes flashing that grey purple.  
“He committed double genocide! How stupid are you?!” Silence, and she turned back to the screen.  
“Just watch, Outcast. Watch all your friends and family burn.”  
“Will the Doctor die?”   
“No, he has to live with what he’s done.” She answered, a hard tone settling on her voice.  
Silence again. And then he asked, “Will the Master die?”  
“No, he ran away. Just like you. Both of you are cowards.”  
And then the fateful question.  
“Will I die?” He asked tentatively.   
“No. You need to live with this. Because this is your fault. You shouldn’t have told Rassilon your dreams. You could have prevented it.”  
“The Time War was my fault you know. I could have prevented it. But I had to go and tell that stupid prick Rassilon my dream.” The other 2 had been trying to tune in to her memories, but they only got bits and pieces.  
But the memory she had just relapsed into burned hot in their minds.  
“Who was that?” The Doctor finally asked.  
She shook her head slightly.  
“She… she’s gone for now.”  
“For now?” The Master asked.  
“Infiltration. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.” But then she realized what she said and laughed, that morbid childish laugh was back.  
“Sorry, you don’t know the joke. That’s what they are. Wolves.”  
She was done laughing.  
“Master, your plan isn’t going to work. Not that we’re going to stop you. But it’s not going to work.”  
“Can you hear the drumming?” The Master suddenly asked them.  
“No.”  
“Yes.” The Doctor looked up at her shocked.  
“If you think about it, Master. Then I’ll hear it. Loud, in my head. And the colors will bleed in, and damn it, it’s so annoying!”  
There was silence.  
“Next time we see each other, I’ll explain what it is to you, if you like.”  
“Are you asking me out on a date?”  
“Maybe.” She kept a straight face, but at the Doctor’s face, she snorted.  
“Sorry, joking. Not that I’m saying I would never date you, but that’s not what I had been implying before.”  
She tuned out their fighting after that.  
She looked up to see the television, the Doctor’s, Martha’s, and Jack’s faces splayed across the screen.  
And then there was hers.  
She was their Hostage in the eyes of the public.  
“Really, I’m a hostage?” She asked suddenly.  
“Of course. I’d rather have you here with me then out in a prison or executed somewhere.”  
She turned to look at the camera once she heard the next words of his, after tuning out again.  
“Why not start by turning to the right?”  
“He can see us!” The Doctor took out his sonic and pointed it at the Camera. It chattered and sparked, causing Lane to take a step back and put her arms up for protection.  
“Ooh! You public menace! Better start running. Go on, run.”  
The Doctor flipped the phone shut, staring into space.  
“He’s got control of everything.” The Doctor said sullenly.  
“What do we do?” Martha asked flatly.  
“We’ve got nowhere to go.” Jack said, resigned.  
“Doctor, what do we do?” Martha pleaded.  
“Run, Doctor. Run for your life!” The Master’s voice rang in Lane’s head harshly.  
Their feet pounded on the floor as they ran down the walkway, passing a man leaned on the wall.  
“I said, run!”  
“Tomorrow morning, Britain will be welcoming an extraterrestrial species.”  
“The president is said to be furious that Great Britain has taken unilateral action.”  
A man speaking Cantonese relayed this message again.  
And then TellaTubbies came on.  
The Blonde woman, Ava, spoke directly into the thoughts of the ‘Toclafane’.  
Her plan was going perfectly. The Last Three Time Lords.  
She had gotten the decapitated humans on her side easily- Archangel had actually been her idea, and the plan she had forming was working.  
Working spectacularly well.  
Except… had it been a good choice to show the Outcast? Ava gritted her teeth.   
Oh well. As long as the Master was stupid enough to believe he was in control, the Doctor was anti-violent enough to not kill her, and the Outcast was afraid enough to not rat her out, she was fine. All of them were working in her favor.  
She was so close to getting the Outcast back.  
Too bad she couldn’t keep the others. The Doctor would be set free, too smart of a prisoner. The Master would be killed, to insane to be a prisoner. Well… maybe she could use their life forces as energy.  
That sounded like a good plan.  
A great plan.  
“How was it?” Jack asked once Martha got back from shopping.  
“I don’t think anybody saw me.”  
“I’ve got this tuned in to the Government wavelengths so we can see what Saxon’s doing.”  
“Yeah, I meant about my family.”  
Wait, she asked something? Lane looked up in confusion.   
She ignored the rest of the conversation in favor of the chips in her lap.  
“So, Doctor…” Jack started. “Who is he?”  
Lane looked up, and noticed that Jack’s eyes were on here.  
“How come the Ancient Society of Time Lords created a psychopath?”  
“He’s not a psychopath!” Lane suddenly yelled coldly. It caused everyone to jump. She hadn’t gotten mad the whole time they knew her, even if it wasn’t a long time, they were already used to her going either sullen or childish.  
“What is he to you?” Martha asked, watching Lane sit up and put her chips on the table.  
“He was my fault. It was… near the end. Of the time war, right before I ran. They wanted to… they didn’t want to die. They knew what was happening. Doctor, they knew you stole the Moment. And I told them. About my dream. Another one.” She laughed, humorless and bitter. “That’s what started the Time War. My dreams. Anyways… The prophecy… the last three… the drum beat… the signal…”  
She struggled to reign in her tears.  
“I… I didn’t want to. To tell them. They forced me to… Rassilon was such a prick.”  
She shivered.  
“I ran out after. There was the screaming, the pounding, and I ran. I caused them to put the drum beat in his head. Their plan… it was so twisted, so dark. I… I’m so sorry.”  
Then she broke down, and sobbed. The Doctor stood slowly and wrapped his arms around her, just letting her cry.  
“It’s alright. It wasn’t your fault.”  
“But all the legends of Gallifrey made it sound so perfect.” Jack said softly.  
The Doctor pulled Lane with him as they sat down.  
She just kept weeping into his chest.  
“Well, perfect to look at, maybe. And it was. It was beautiful. Used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems.” The Doctor answered, and kissed the Outcast’s forehead softly.  
She let go slowly and turned to look at them, getting back in her seat and grabbing her chips.  
“And on the continent of wild endeavor, in the mountains of solace and solitude, there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. I worked there, you know.” She said, and ate some of her chips.  
“The oldest and most mighty race in the universe, looking down on the Galaxies below.” The Doctor added, a faraway look in his eyes.  
“Sworn never to interfere. Only to watch.” Lane bit her lip and fell silent after she said that. What was she supposed to do? Listen, probably. She hadn’t been doing enough of that.  
“Children of Gallifrey are taken from their families, age of 8, to enter the Academy. Some say that’s where it all began, when he was a child.”  
“Then it couldn’t have been your fault at all, Outcast.” Martha told her, and she had reel back her glare. “We’re Time Lords. I don’t suppose that means we have Time Powers, right? Oh wait. We do.”  
The Doctor looked about ready to snap at her, until he realized her tone of voice.  
He ignored it, instead.  
“That was when the Master saw eternity. As a Novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the untampered schism. It’s a… gap in the fabric of reality. Through which could be seen the whole of the Vortex.” The Doctor continued.  
“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” Lane quoted softly.  
The Doctor looked to her for a second, then snapped to look somewhere else.  
“You stand there, 8 years old, staring at the raw power of time and space, just a child. Some would be inspired, some would run away, and some would go mad.”  
“What about you, Doctor?” Martha asked.  
“Oh, the ones that ran away, I never stopped.”  
“And you?” Jack asked Lane.  
“Hmm? Oh, I was one of the rare few they had to restrain because I almost jumped in.”  
Jack’s wrist band started beeping. “Encrypted channel, with files attached.” He read, and Lane sighed, tuning them out again.  
Boring really. She wished something big would happen.  
“You work for Torchwood?” She suddenly heard, and she nearly choked on her chips.  
“What?”  
“I swear to you, it’s different. It’s changed. There’s only a half dozen of us now.”  
Oh, boring, get to the good parts!  
Archangel, dead woman, sonic screwdriver…  
Beep Beep Beep-Beep.  
Beep Beep Beep-Beep.  
The Doctor closed the phone.  
She finally really tuned in when the keys were made.  
“4 Tardis keys. 4 pieces of the Tardis, all with low-level perception-properties, because the Tardis is designed to blend in.”  
Lane snorted at what the Doctor said. “Blend in? That’s like that one neon pink room in a stack of pale blue ones.” She said snidely.  
He half glared at her, and then continued, “The Archangel Network’s got a second Low-Level signal. Weld the key to the network and… Martha, look at me. You can see me, yes?” He asked, stepping back with a key.  
“Yep.” She answered.  
“What about now?” The Doctor asked again, putting on the key.  
Martha tried hard to look at him.  
“Hello, over here, look at me.” His voice came muffled in her hearing.  
“It’s like… I know you’re there, but I don’t want to know.”  
“And…” He took the key off. “Back again, see? It just shifts your perception a tiny little bit.”  
“Do you think that’s going to work, though? The Archangel network is devised to gently push HUMAN minds in the direction they want it to go. Not Time Lords. Koschei will see us.”  
“Who?” Martha asked, and Jack gave Lane a confused look.  
“The keys will still do its job.”  
Then he started to run off. “Oh, I know what it’s like, it’s like when you fancy someone and it’s like they don’t even know you exist.” And he ran off again.  
“He’s an idiot, isn’t he?” Lane said, and they all ran to catch up.  
“Don’t run, don’t shout, draw attention to yourself, and the spell is broken.” The Doctor warned.  
“Just keep to the shadows like ghosts.” Lane said, and she stalked forward, in front of them.  
“Let me go first, I’ll be back.”  
She kept going, ignoring their protests, and caught up to where the Master was, alone. She silently went behind him, and was just about to put the key on him, when he turned, startling her, and grabbed her face.  
He pushed his lips onto hers hard, and she practically melted into the kiss.  
“Found you.” He whispered.  
“And as the eyes of the world turn towards Great Britain, sources indicate that Air Force One has landed on British soil tonight.”  
Cars and people flocked to where the Master and Lane were.  
The Master held onto her hand, looking into her eyes for a moment, then back to the people.  
She tried hard not to notice the blonde behind her with the wolf eyes. For fear that if the Master or anyone else found out, that she would kill them. Or beat her.  
Or something worse.  
But the wall around her mind stayed firm.  
The President walked up to them.  
“Mr. President, Sir!” The Master saluted.  
“Mr. Saxon, the British Army will stand down.”   
The President glared.  
“From now on, UNIT has control of this operation.”  
“You make it sound like an invasion.” Lane added in, watching him quizzically.  
“The first contact policy was decided by the Security Council in 1968, and you’ve just gone and ignored it.”  
“There’s a policy about First Contact? But what about the skeptics?” Lane asked.  
“There was undeniable proof.” The President answered.  
“Well, you know what it’s like, new job, all that paperwork. I think it’s down the back of the settee.”  
Lane almost laughed at that. Seriously? That was the oldest excuse in the book, right next to, ‘The dog ate it.’  
“I did have a quick look. I found a pen, a sweet, a bus ticket, and, uh- have you met my girlfriend, Lane?”  
Oh no he did not.  
But Lane forced a smile at the President and nodded to him.  
“Mr. Saxon, I’m not sure what game you’re playing, but there are provisions at the U.N. to have you removed from office unless you are very, very careful. Is that understood?”  
The Master zipped his lips, and Lane fought back another laugh.  
“Are you taking this seriously?”   
The Master nodded, casting a look at Lane.  
“To business.” The President said then.  
“We’ve accessed your files on these… Toclafane. But First Contact cannot take place on any sovereign-.”  
Sovereign, Sovereign, Sovereign… Another Time Lord, dead now. The Outcast’s previous mentor…  
“-soil. To that purpose, the air craft carrier Valiant is en route.”  
No, her premonition?  
“The rendezvous will take place there, at 8:00 AM.”  
The Master mumbled through his ‘locked’ lips, and Lane fought back another laugh.   
He really needed to stop that.  
“You’re trying my patience, Sir.” The President said through gritted teeth.  
The Master signaled for one moment, and unzipped his lips.  
Lane chanced a quick look behind her. There was the Doctor, Martha, and Jack.  
There was also the wolf woman. She turned back to the President a split second later.  
“So America is completely in charge?” The Master asked.  
“Since Britain elected an ass, yes!” There the dam broke, and Lane giggled, burying her face in the Master’s arm to stop laughing.  
“I’ll see you on board the Valiant!” He was… HOPPING… mad!  
She got sent into another fit of giggles.  
“It still… will be televised, though.” She finally calmed herself, and let go of the Master, looking to the President.  
“Won’t it? Because I promised. And the whole world is watching.” The Master stated.  
“Since it’s too late to pull out, the whole world will be watching. Me.” And with that, the President left.  
“The last president of America.” He whispered into Lane’s ear.  
“We have a private plane ready and waiting. We should reach the Valiant within the hour.” He told her.  
“And this was your plan?”  
“It’s starting.” He answered, pulling her along. She chanced another look behind her at the 3, and the wolf.  
“My Darling.” She was led by officers to the plane, as the Master watched the 3 silently. Then he followed.  
“That was idiotic on her part.” Jack finally said.  
And then a police car came, carrying Martha’s family.  
“Oh, my god.” Martha whispered.   
“Don’t move.” The Doctor warned.  
“But the-.”  
“Don’t!”  
“I’m going to kill him.”  
“What say I use this perception filter to walk up behind him and break his neck?” Jack asked.  
“Now that sounds like Torchwood.”  
“Still a good plan.”  
“He’s a Time Lord. Which makes him the Outcast’s and my responsibility. We’re not here to kill him- we’re here to save him.”   
“She doesn’t like that name.” Jack said suddenly.  
“What?” The Doctor looked to him sharply.  
“She flinches when you use it- she prefers Lane.” He finished, setting his Time Vortex Manipulator to the Valiant.  
And they teleported to the Valiant.  
Lane followed the Master slowly, watching in almost Awe at the inside of the Valiant.  
“Anything I can do? I can make tea! Or isn’t that American enough? I don’t know, I could make grits. What are grits, anyway?” The Master offered.  
“Could make hamburgers.” Lane added with a shrug, earning a glare from the President.  
“If you could just sit.” He ordered, annoyed.  
“Misery guts…” The Master whispered.  
“What do you think? It’s good, isn’t it?” He asked Lane, and she gave a half glare. “Really, you’re asking me?” She gave him a withering look. “I think you’re going a tad bit far.”  
“Oh, what do you know?”  
“The whole of past, present, and future.” She shrugged, and earned a playful glare from the Master.  
What was she doing, they weren’t friends anymore!  
“I helped design this place.” He pulled out her chair, then sat next to her.  
“Every detail.”  
The Tardis doors opened and shut behind the group of 3, the Doctor, Jack, and Martha.  
“What the hell’s he done?” Jack asked, hard voice. He looked at the middle of the Tardis in horror.  
“Don’t touch it!” The Doctor warned.  
“I’m not going to.” He assured.  
“What’s he done, though?” Martha asked. “Sounds like its… sick.” She continued.  
“It can’t be.” The Doctor whispered in horror.  
“No, no, no, no, it can’t be.”  
“Doctor, what is it?” Jack asked.  
“He’s cannibalized the Tardis.”  
“Is this what I think it is?” Jack asked, voice cracking slightly with anxiety.  
“It’s a paradox machine.”  
Lane tapped on the table with an unknown rhythm that the Master tried hard to understand.  
Tap-Tap, tap, tap, tap.  
Tap-Tap, tap, tap, tap.  
Tap-Tap, tap, tap, tap.  
“What is that?” He finally asked.  
“Color coded. Remember, I have Synesthesia. It makes beautiful colors when I tap this beat. Better than your drums.”  
Before he could answer, the President yelled, “2 minutes, everyone!”  
The Master checked his watch.  
“According to the treaty, all armed personnel are requested to leave the flight deck immediately.”  
Lane looked into the Ava’s eyes, just as they flashed purple.  
‘She’s planning something.’ Lane mused.  
“Jelly baby?” The Master offered, and she snorted with laughter, nodding and taking one.  
“Broadcasting at 7:58, with the arrival timed for 800 hours exactly.” The President announced.  
“Can’t he just say 8:00 AM like the rest of us?” She asked the Master, and he shrugged.  
She didn’t really want to listen to the ravings of this sad old man, who was going to die soon. But… it wasn’t the Master who sanctioned it? What?  
Ambassador... Toclafane… ooh, the group has walked in!  
“I give you, the Toclafane!”  
This is going to end badly.  
“My name is Arthur Coleman Winters, President-Elect of the United States of America, and designated representative of the United Nations.”  
The Master smiled.  
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Lane warned suddenly. He looked to her sharply, confusion clear on his face. “What?”  
“Think you’ve won. The little bitch is going to take over.” He nearly choked on his Jelly Baby. “Did you just curse?!”  
“You’re not the Mistress.”  
“What?!” The Master asked, eyes wide.  
“We like the Wolf Mistress.”   
“We don’t like you.”  
“Would you prefer a woman?” The President asked in confusion.  
“I could get you a woman if that’s what you so wish.”  
“Man is stupid.”  
“Mistress is our friend.”  
“Where’s my Mistress? Pretty please?”  
“Oh, alright then.” Ava stood and spun to the middle of the room.  
“It’s me! Sorry for the confusion, but I’m taking over from here.”  
“Wh-what?” The Master spluttered.  
“What?!” The Doctor’s voice rang out, drawing attention to the group.  
“I don’t know what it is about me. Is it the blonde, the sense of humor, the teeth?” She grinned, showing those pointy canines. To pointy for a human.  
“Miss, what are you talking about?”  
She smiled at the President. “I’ve secretly been in charge the whole time. I’ve been willing ‘Mr. Saxon’-...” Cue those air quotes, “The whole time.” She turned and grabbed Lane’s hand, pulling her to stand next to her. Labe whimpered in fear.  
“All for the prize of my favorite doll. Which I lost. Well, it was stolen.”  
She glared at the President. “Don’t you just hate when the other kids steal your toys?” She suddenly turned into a red head with sparkling blue eyes, that turned to purple grey right after. And they didn’t flash. They stayed like that.  
“I’m taking control. Starting with you. Kill him.”  
Ash fell to the ground where the president once stood.  
“No one move~!” She sang, and ran to where the president once was, pulling Lane with her.  
“Doctor, Master, Martha, and Jack.” She sneered.  
“We haven’t met yet. Kill the Master”  
“NO!” Lane screamed, and Ava’s hand immediately raised to stop the ‘Toclafane’.  
“No?” She asked.  
“If you do, I won’t listen. I’ll kill myself now and won’t regenerate.” She seethed, and Ava watched her balefully.  
“Alright. Take them. Don’t kill any of the 4.” At Lane’s look, she added, “Or the Jones.”  
She smiled, and watched the 4 get tied to chairs.  
“This was fun, wasn’t it?” She leaned to look at them.  
“Oh Martha… Martha, Martha, Martha. Little girl.” She said darkly.  
“Is it time? Is it ready?”  
“Is the machine singing?”  
Ava threw her head back.  
“Oh, my children. You are ready! Go, be the predatory wolves I brought you up to be!”  
There was so many, swarming the skies, going down and killing them.  
“Remove 1/10th of the population.” She laughed.  
Martha grabbed at her wrist slowly, and pressed the button, tears streaming down her face.  
“Now, Outcast. Shall we play a game?” Ava asked, smirking at the Time Lord.  
“Mistress of all. Do you like that?”  
TBC  
Cast  
Doctor – David Tennant  
Martha Jones – Freema Agyeman  
Captain Jack Harkness – John Barrowman  
The Master – John Simm  
Lane (The Outcast) – Georgie Hanley  
Wolf Mistress Ava Version 1 – Elize Du Toit  
Wolf Mistress Ava Version 2 – Rachel Hurd-Wood  
Francine Jones – Adjoa Andoh  
Tish Jones – Gugu Mbatha-Raw  
Clive Jones – Trevor Laird  
Leo Jones – Reggie Yates  
President Winters – Colin Stinton  
Sphere Voices – Zoe Thorne; Gerard Logan; Johnnie Lyne-Pirkis  
Authoress: KarrineGenesis a.k.a. Karrine Schwimley  
Next Time on the Last Three:  
“Who is she?” The Doctor asked Lane, watching as Lane sat staring at nothing.  
“You wanted to know what the drum beat was- I’m sure Lane will be glad to tell you now!” Ava chirped insanely.  
A bullet left the barrel of the gun and lodged itself into Jack’s head.  
“Back at the Time War… a boy found me in the forest.” Lane said, sobbing.  
“What is that?” Martha asked in horror. “The stars are made of diamonds.”


	4. Last of the Time Lords

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava takes over and screws with the Outcast. Will the newly regenerated Outcast be able to save everyone in time? Or will he just end up messing everyone's lives for the worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That fucking summary.  
> Deadpool: I told you that you curse like a sailor.  
> Please review. If you get the references I will make in every chapter- including this one, but not the last 3, then you guys can request stuff to happen, the Outcast to say something, whatever. And if I get in an extremely good mood, I’ll let you know that you don’t have to find the reference to get your request in the story! This one was particularly easy, it references real life. Actors, maybe…?

Lane kept her eyes trained to the floor, and Ava counted something on her fingers. “You’re on your fifth regeneration?” She laughed.  
“You really keep those regenerations safe. Maybe we’d like to see your next one?” Ava asked, running a hand on one side of her face.  
“Who agrees with me?!” Ava suddenly yelled to her side, where the Master, the Doctor, and Jack were still sitting.  
“No, don’t force her into a regeneration!” The Doctor cried.  
“She’s on her fifth, she has 13. I believe I can.” She turned to Lane and grabbed the laser screwdriver from the desk.  
“Those are isomorphic controls- they only work for me!” The Master called.  
“Oh, you’re half right, they are isomorphic. But I had them add me into it.” She grinned madly.  
“Say goodbye, Lane.” Lane watched her and gulped, then looked to the 3.  
“Goodbye.”  
Snap.  
Gold time energy flowed from her head and fingers, then she snapped back into place.  
Sorry, HE snapped back into place.  
He ran a hand through his short curly black hair, and turned to the 3 others to look at them.  
His new eyes had sectoral heterochromia, and he was lanky and skinny.  
“Who am I now?”  
Theme  
BBC/KarrineGenesis  
David Tennant  
Freema Agyeman  
John Barrowman   
Benedict Cumberbatch  
John Simm  
Rachel Hurd-Wood  
THE LAST THREE  
Last of the Time Lords by KarrineGenesis/Basis by Russell T Davies  
The Outcast sat sullenly in front of the 3.  
It had been 1 year since Ava had caused him to regenerate, and now they understood a little more.  
They had watched him get hurt over and over, and made better right after so that Ava could always see his, as she put it, ‘Pretty little face.’  
He was tapping that 5 beat rhythm again, and he looked up at the other 2 Time Lords.  
“Who is she?” The Doctor finally asked, watching as the Outcast stared at nothing.  
“I ran. After what happened, after watching so much blood shed, I ran so far… fell in the snow.” He said brokenly.  
“Back at the Time War… a boy found me in the forest. His eyes flashed grey purple, he only had one heart, and his canines were sharp like a wolves. He took me to Ava. Back then, in my fourth regeneration. She forced me into my fifth as well. I… I escaped, turned myself human with the help of a friend.” He sneered suddenly.  
“Friend. Yeah.” He chuckled darkly. “That’s a good one.” He shook his head.  
“So, what did you send Martha to do?”  
Silence met his question, and then he did something that he had been doing ever since he regenerated- his long pale fingers curled slightly, palm propping his chin, knee propping his elbow, fingers splayed across the bottom half of his face.  
“I can’t tell you, in case she’s listening.” The Doctor answered, and the Outcast nodded, eyes closing.  
He stood, and Ava was suddenly next to him.  
“Where are you going?” The Outcast was much taller than Ava; she was 5’7, and he was 6’0 exactly.  
That was 5 inches more.  
3 inches taller than the Master.  
1 inch shorter than the Doctor.  
If he could, he would have easily overpowered Ava. Except the band on his arm prevented him from doing so.  
Ava watched his eyes, and smiled.  
“Well?”  
“May I ask a favor?”  
Ava blinked, then snorted.  
“Of course, what is it you want?”  
The Outcast looked straight into Ava’s purple eyes.  
“Oh! I don’t know why you would want that, it sounds more like a chore then a privilege… but alright. If, you know, you sing for me.”  
The 2 Time Lords watched the Outcast carefully.  
Then his mouth opened, and out came song.  
“I’m just a step away. I’m just a breath away. Losing my faith today, we’re falling off the edge today.”  
He stepped back slightly and fell onto the chair beside him, looking over at the 2 Time Lords.  
He ran a hand through those curls of his.  
“I am just a man, not superhuman, I’m not superhuman, someone save me from the hate.”  
“So, is this how you treat guests here? Never booking at hotels online again!”  
A bullet left the barrel of the gun and lodged itself into Jack’s head.  
“It’s just another war, just another family torn, falling from my faith today, just a step from the edge. Just another day in the world we live.”  
Martha stepped into the workshop of Professor Docherty, standing side by side with Tom Milligan.  
“Professor Docherty?” He asked.  
“Busy.” She answered flatly.  
“I need a hero to save me now, I need a hero to save me now! I need a hero to save my life, a hero will save me just in time!”  
“They sent word ahead, I’m Tom Milligan. This is Martha Jones.” Martha watched the woman in front of her, knowingness hidden deep within her brown orbs.  
Can’t let the woman know they knew.  
“She can be the Queen of Sheba, for all I care. I’m still busy.” Docherty replied shortly.  
Martha gave a short, almost angry laugh. “Televisions don’t work anymore.”  
“I've gotta fight today, to live another day, Speakin' my mind today, my voice will be heard today!”  
“Oh god, I miss “Countdown”. Never been the same since Des took over. Both Deses. What’s the plural for Des? Desi? Deseen? But we’ve been told there’s going to be a transmission.”   
The professor hit the sides of the TV and the top, a crackling sound going through the room.  
“From the Woman herself.” The picture came to, soft singing in the background as Ava sat at the screen.  
“Who's gonna fight for what's right, who’s gonna help us survive, we’re in the fight of our lives, and we're not ready to die!”  
“My people! Hello there, on this day to remember. The eve of war. But I know all those stories down there, of a child walking the earth. Martha Jones, I allowed her to escape, but now she’s trying to destroy my plans? Me?! I don’t think so!” Ava cried.  
“Who's gonna fight for the weak, who’s gonna make 'em believe, I've got a hero, Livin' in me!”  
Ava grinned madly at the screen. “I’ve got the power, I have the Doctor, the Master, the Captain, and the Outcast, all under my thumb. Now I just need to catch the Medical Student, the one giving you ‘hope’.”  
“I’ve gotta fight for what’s right, today I’m speaking my mind, and if it kills me tonight, I will be ready to die.”  
“But I ask you…”  
Ava looked back at the Outcast, and walked to stand next to him, punching him directly in the nose, sickening crack resounding in the room, followed by a choked whimper.  
“How much hope has this man got? Say hello, sweet cheeks.”  
The Outcast shuddered, but kept singing. “A hero's not afraid to give his life, A hero's gonna save me just in time!”  
“He’s an alien, with a much greater life span than you stunted little apes. What if you could see each and every one of his regeneration?” She asked, and grabbed the Laser Screwdriver. She had gotten his DNA long before.  
“What if I brought back… the first one?” She pressed the button, and the Outcast screamed in pain, and a gold something fell out of his chest.  
A little girl in a red frilly dress with blonde hair, one green eye, and one blue eye stood. And then she fell, dissolving into the floor.  
“Oh, they don’t last long, do they?” The Outcast just shivered violently, Ava had drained him, and they could tell by the rings around his eyes that appeared.  
“And the second one…”  
She zapped him again, and there went the scream, which made the Doctor and the Master flinch, now that they really understood what was happening.  
A slightly older boy, about 18, appeared next to them, clothed in a hoodie, skinny jeans, straight black hair, and green eyes.  
He dissolved as well.  
And those rings under the 6th Outcast’s eyes grew darker, and he looked more sallow.  
“It's just another war, just another family torn, my voice will be heard today, the countdown begins to destroy ourselves.” His voice had grown considerably darker, glaring right at Ava.  
She just looked back to the camera.  
“And the third…” The Outcast threw his head back and groaned, but he didn’t scream this time.  
Not for Ava’s satisfaction.  
A 25 year old woman stood now, dark ginger tresses falling across her face, and this regeneration had sectoral heterochromia as well.  
She dissolved as well.  
“You're the galantine, Cold and alone, it suits you well, won’t find me perching here again. May your feet serve you well, and the rest be sent to Hell, Where they always have belonged.” The Outcast spat bitterly. He hadn’t sung, he seemed too weak for that now.  
“And the fourth…”  
“The War Outcast.” The Doctor suddenly whispered, and the Outcast looked over at the 2, but his eyes quickly dropped.  
The Master closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down. Last time he had let his anger get out of control, the Outcast was punished for it. That had NOT been a fun experience.  
There he stood, in all his glory.   
He had a slight slouch, and his eyes were both the same color, and they didn’t have sectoral heterochromia. He had always been the most normal looking.  
Hell, even Lane’s eyes were green in the middle near the irises and bluer when you got more outward.  
His hair was a medium hue of brown, part of it dyed red with blood from the war. His eyes were a grey blue color, and he had dark rings under his eyes like the new Outcast.  
He wore a white T-Shirt, half of it stained with blood and ash.  
His pants were ripped, they had also been white, but now they looked as black as soot.  
Blood spilled from his mouth, and he said something.  
It was almost inaudible, and he dissolved right after, but he said, “Hello.”  
“Goodbye.” All 3 of the Time Lords answered after in unison, and they would have laughed if the circumstances were different.  
“And lastly, 5.”  
She pressed the button for the last time, and the Outcast closed his eyes tightly.  
There popped up Lane, in all her glory as well.  
She swayed, and dissolved.  
When the Outcast didn’t open his eyes, and he fell off of the chair and onto the ground, Ava stooped to look at him.  
She felt his pulse, and when it throbbed onto her fingers, she stood and turned back to the camera.  
“Received and understood, Miss Jones?” She asked, and then threw her head back in laughter.  
The TV turned off.  
Martha watched the blank screen for a second, and then Tom Milligan’s voice broke through her thoughts.  
“I’m sorry.” He said solemnly.  
She smiled.  
“The Outcast’s still alive.”  
~  
“Obviously the Archangel network would seem to be Mistress Ava’s greatest weakness. 15 satellites all around the earth, still transmitting. That’s why there’s so little resistance. It’s broadcasting a Telepathic Signal that keeps people scared.” Professor Docherty ‘worked out’. Yeah, like she didn’t already know.  
“We could just take them out.” Tom offered.  
“We could. 15 air to ground missiles. Got any on you?” Docherty asked, only being half sarcastic.  
“Besides, any military action, the Toclafane descend.” She added, looking away.  
“They’re not called ‘Toclafane’, that’s a name the Master made up before Mistress Ava forcefully took over.”  
Docherty turned. “Then what are they, then?” She asked, earnest curiosity coating her voice.  
“That’s why I came to find you; know your enemy.” Docherty’s expression changed slightly when Martha stated that.  
“I’ve got this.” Martha grabbed a cd from her bag.  
“No one can look at a sphere close up, they can’t even be damaged. Except once, the lightning strike in South Africa brought one of them down, just by chance. I’ve got the readings on this.” Martha held it up, and Docherty nearly fell out of her seat trying to get a better look at it.  
~  
Docherty punched her computer once as it beeped mercilessly, and grumbled, “Whoever thought we’d miss Bill Gates?”  
“So is that why you traveled the world, to find a disc?” Tom asked.  
“No, just got lucky!” Martha said truthfully.  
“I heard stories that you walked the earth to find a way to build a weapon.” Docherty said flatly, and she glanced up at Martha.  
Martha closed her eyes, but they immediately snapped open when Docherty said, “There! “A current of 58.5 Kiloamperes, transferring a charge of 510 Megajoules, precisely.”  
“Can you re-create that?” Tom asked.  
“I think so. Easily, yes.” Docherty answered.  
“Right then, Dr. Milligan. We’re going to get us a sphere.”  
~  
Captain Jack Harkness closed his eyes shut tightly, tugging on his chains that held his arms above him.  
“Let’s kill tonight… Kill tonight… Show them all you’re not the ordinary type… Let’s kill tonight.” The Outcast walked slowly into the room and sat on the chair in front of Jack.  
“Outcast…” Jack breathed, and he nodded silently.  
He held a plate of chips, and tea.  
“I had her give me the job of feeding you. I got her to let you have good food.”  
“What does she do to you?” Jack asked impulsively, and the Outcast froze, then resumed.  
“She makes me sing… she breaks my nose many times… reminds me of the past… hurts me… brushes through my hair and picks my clothes…”  
Jack closed his eyes silently. The Outcast still looked sallow and weak, but he looked slightly better than when he fell to the floor on the television.  
“I saw what happened.” Jack deadpanned.  
The Outcast looked to the floor, then fed him a chip.  
Jack ate it slowly, and once it was gone, he continued, “What was that?”  
“My past regenerations became alive on their own for a few moments. I told you, guys and girls.”  
“The Doctor told me once that he has had 10 regenerations.” Jack watched the Outcast with scrutinizing eyes.  
“I take better care of my regenerations. Except that last one. Shortest regeneration ever. But then again, she forced me into a regeneration.”   
Jack ate the next chip slowly.  
“I had a wife. In the Time War. And a child. She- my wife, by the way- was killed by Rassilon. Time Lords are possibly the scariest race out there.”  
Jack finished the chip and hesitated a moment, then asked, “And your kid?”  
The Outcast turned his back to pick up the tea, and grimaced. “He burned. The Moment killed him.”  
Jack stopped for a second. “Didn’t the Doctor-?”  
“I don’t blame him!” The Outcast interrupted, giving a glare at Jack, which softened almost immediately.  
He sighed, helping Jack sip his tea.  
“I never blamed him. Ava has tried to make me blame him ever since my 4th regeneration. I am not younger than them, ok, just safer.” He suddenly added.  
“I was never going to say that.” Jack laughed.  
“Well, everyone does. Don’t blame me for making sure you don’t assume.”  
~  
Ava bounded into the room, humming loudly.  
“Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn’t care!” She spun, then looked over at the Master and the Doctor.  
She sat on the chair across from them and grinned, crossing her legs.  
She leaned over, propping her head up with her knuckles.  
“So… are you wondering what my plan is? Cause I’d be happy to tell you~!” Ava sang.  
“What are you doing to Hetamax?” The Doctor asked her.  
Ava shrugged. “Just playing with my toy. You should have seen him when he was younger. We’ve been following him since his 3rd regeneration… Well, before that, but we first found him in his third. After that, we looked back. Watched her grow up. Stole him from the Time War.” Ava sounded far away, but then she smiled at them.  
“Master? Do you have a question?” She asked, teeth baring as she grinned again.  
“What did you do to him, back at the Time War?” The Master growled, and Ava just about laughed.  
“I’m sorry? You want to know? I’ll give you the short version-.” She leaned forward into the Master’s face and growled, “Broke him.” She leaned back, and glared, then she smiled.  
But it was more of a smirk.  
“He was stubborn- it took a LOOOOONG time. I heard him crying for you, in the wee hours of the night when he thought he was alone.” Ava loved seeing their guilt ridden faces.  
“Tomorrow the war. Tomorrow, we rise, never to fall.” A sphere came in.  
The Doctor flinched when he saw it. The Master had told him what they were long before.  
“My pride and joys. Uh, David Simm?” She called suddenly, and a man, about 24, walked in stiffly, with wolf ears, a wolf tail, and purple grey eyes.  
He was rigged, and Ava didn’t seem to care.  
“Half of them will turn into him one day. WEEELLLL, almost. This is just an experiment. They’ll be better soon.” She turned to the Time Lords.  
“We fought in the Time War. Sort of.” She sighed. “Many died. Many changed. Until there wasn’t any left. Just me, and a small group of 9 others. 10 full blooded Wolves let. So we did what any self-respecting species would do.”  
“And what’s that?” The Doctor asked.  
She leaned forward and looked right into his eyes.  
“We exacerbate.”  
“You intentionally exacerbated?” The Master asked in surprise.  
“Yes. And it worked. We’ve made a new species, haven’t we? We’ve taken over Earth, haven’t we?”  
Ava smirked toothily.  
“We’ve got our doll, haven’t we?”  
~  
The sphere gave a click and Docherty opened it slowly. “Oh, my god!” She exclaimed suddenly.  
Martha and Tom stepped forward to look at the thing inside  
Grey fur was on top of its head, and its eyes were closed.  
Then suddenly the lights turned on, and it opened its eyes.  
They were the same grey purple as Ava’s.  
“It’s alive.” Docherty murmured.  
“Martha. Martha Jones.”  
“It knows you.” Tom breathed.  
“Miss Martha Jones, you helped us to fly.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You led us to salvation.”  
“Who are you?”  
“The skies are made of diamonds.”  
~  
“What are they?” He asked, reigning in the terror of it all.  
“They’re humans- were humans, at least. Human-Wolves. It’s all very complicated.” She shrugged playfully, but he only glared.  
“And Creet?”  
“Dead.”  
“I spoke to him… offered him the stars.”   
“I know. Night then.”  
“….”  
~  
“I think it’s time we had the truth, Miss Jones. Legend says you traveled the world to find a way of killing Mistress Ava. Tell us, is it true?”  
Martha sucked in a breath.  
“Just before I escaped, the Doctor told me…”  
She grabbed her briefcase and pulled it out.  
“These Wolves have been coming here for years. And they’ve been watched. There’s Unit, and Torchwood, all studying different types of aliens in secret. Other than Time Lords, these were the most intriguing. And they made this, the ultimate defense.” She opened it to show a gun like weapon.  
“All we need is to get close, I can shoot the Mistress dead with this.” Tom said, showing Martha the gun.  
“Actually, you can put that down now, thank you very much.” Docherty said, pushing the gun in his hands down.  
“Actually, can’t. They don’t regenerate like Time Lords, but they have defense mechanisms that are near perfect. They start dying, the damage on them can either be transferred to someone else, or they can expel their injuries into crystals that they cough up. Point is, it’s not easy to kill a Wolf.”  
“Oh, great, so the Mistress is immortal.” Docherty rolled her eyes.  
“Except for this. 4 chemicals slotted in the gun, inject her… kills a wolf permanently.” Martha looked to them out of the corner of her eye.  
“4 chemicals? You’ve only got three.” Tom said suddenly, picking up the 3 vials.  
“Still need the last one, cause the components of this gun were kept safe scattered across the world, and I found them. San Diego, Beijing, Budapest, and London.” Martha prattled off.  
“And where is it?” Tom asked.  
“There’s an old UNIT base, North London. I’ve found the access codes. Tom, you got to get me there.”  
“We can’t get across London in the dark, it’s full of wild dogs. We’ll get eaten alive. We can wait till the morning, then go with the medical convoy.” Tom suggested.  
“You can spend the night here, if you like.” Docherty offered.  
“No, we can get halfway, stay at the slave quarters in Bexley. Professor, thank you.” Tom shook Docherty’s hand.  
“Oh, and you.” Docherty responded. “Good luck.” She added.  
Thanks.” Martha smiled and kissed Docherty’s cheek before following after Tom.  
“Martha?” Docherty asked, and Martha turned.  
“Could you do it? Could you actually kill her?”  
“Got no choice.” Martha answered.  
“You might be many things, but you don’t look like a killer to me.”  
~  
The Doctor watched warily as Ava sat in front of him and the Master, texting someone on her phone. She looked completely alright- in fact, no emotion whatsoever.  
Then she turned vicious.   
“Oh, that stupid Martha Jones! It’s a wonder she survived so many years with you, Doctor!” She pat out his name like it was a curse word.  
“It’s a wonder anyone is alive, anyone who knows you.” She stood.  
“Well, time to grab the little girl!”  
~  
“My name isn’t important. There is the man who sent me out here, he’s trying to save the man that the Mistress has taken hold of. His name is the Doctor, and he’s saved your lives countless times. He never stops, he never strays, and he never asks to be thanked.”  
Martha held her breath a second, then let it out.   
“He told me stories about the Outcast. About how long ago, he used to save the world as well. And then there was a war, and these Wolves. If anyone can save the world- no, the universe, it’s the Outcast and the Doctor. I’ve seen them. I know them. I love the Doctor.” She swallowed.  
“And I know what he can do.”  
“It’s her! It’s her, oh my god, it’s her!” A woman cried, rushing in. “It’s the Mistress, she’s here!”  
“But she never comes to Earth, she never walks upon the ground!” A blonde boy cried.  
“Hide her!” The woman who had rushed in commanded.  
Ava walked slowly toward the middle of the street, getting her bearings on the ground.  
Tom cocked his gun and looked through the mailing slot.  
“She walks among us, our queen and Mistress.” The blonde boy spoke again.  
“Martha~?!” Ava sang, and spun a full 360.  
“Martha JO~O~NES?!” She asked, then started walking again.  
“Alright, come on out, little Time Child. Come and meet your Mistress. You are wearing my patience very thin~!” She sang the last 2 words, and stopped walking again.  
“Anybody? Nobody?! NO?! NOTHING?!” Ava called, getting increasingly louder and more vicious.  
“Positions!” She called, and Martha took a deep ragged breath as she heard guns cock.  
“I’ll give the order, unless you come out and meet your new owner.”  
She snorted. “Ask yourself, ‘What would the Doctor do’?” She mocked, laughing.  
Martha gasped, and took off her key, getting up.  
Martha stepped out of the house with one last smile at the group.  
“Oh, yes! Well done, very good job! Good girl!” She smirked. “He trained you well.” Ava almost rolled her eyes.  
“Bag. Give me the bag. No, imbecile, stay there, and throw me the bag!” Ava cried, irritation evident in her voice.  
Martha gave a resigned sigh and took the bag off, throwing hit.  
She pointed the Laser at the bag and pressed the button.  
“And now, faithful little Time Child. It’s time you came with me to the Valiant to die.”  
“NO!” Tom Milligan cried, running out the house, and Ava shot the laser at the man, and he fell dead to the floor.   
She shook her head and sighed. “Oh, humans are so bothersome sometimes, you know? Well of course you don’t, you’re human as well.”  
~  
“Citizens of Earth, rejoice and observe.”  
Martha’s family was lined up to the wall, as Martha was led in by men holding guns.”  
The Doctor and the Master were still strapped to the chairs, but now had gags on.  
The Outcast was sat on the Platform where Ava was standing, and Jack was across the room, held at gun point by a few guards.  
“Oh, the whole crew is here!” Ava smiled madly, then looked to the Master. “You wanted to know what the drum beat was- I’m sure the Outcast will be glad to tell you now!” Ava chirped insanely.  
The Master blinked slightly, and looked to the Outcast.  
“The 4-beat "drumming" sound was a signal sent back in time by the Time Lords on the last day of the Time War & implanted in the your head when you were a young boy.”  
“Yes but what do they do, what are they supposed to be?”   
The Outcast was about to answer, when Ava got impatient.  
“Alright, Martha! Your teleport device, in case you thought I’d forgotten.”   
Martha took it out of her leg pocket and threw it, Ava just barely catching it.  
“Oi, you could have given me warning!” She snapped.  
“And now… kneel.” Ava growled out.  
“And I’m hungry like the wolf.” The Outcast sang, and Ava turned to look at him. “Shut up!”  
She swiftly turned back to Martha.  
“Down below, the fleet is ready to launch! 200,000 ships set to buuuurrrrn across the universe.” She drew out, and laughed slightly.  
She turned to the console and started the countdown. “Never could resist a ticking clock, with all its impending doom.” Ava got a good look at Martha’s face.  
“But you think you’ve already won.” Ava speculated, putting the screwdriver down and leaning over to watch Martha intently.  
“Why?”  
There was silence, and Ava sighed, picking back up the screwdriver. “Seriously? Such a disappointment, this one. To mark this day, when that clock dings zero, Martha Jones will be no more. How’s that for impending doom?”  
Ava put the Laser up. “And now it is my duty to bring back the Wolves, bring back one of the most powerful species, if not, then most. This world will be the new home-!”  
Martha started laughing. It didn’t start as much, just an airy chuckle.  
Ava let the arm she held the screwdriver with fall limply to her side. “And what’s so funny?”  
“A gun?”  
“What about it?” Ava asked.  
“A gun, in 4 parts?”  
“Yes, and I- Oh, for god’s sake, the Doctor would never send you to kill someone or something! What did you do? TELL ME!” Ava screeched.  
“Stories.” The Outcast said suddenly.  
Ava turned to him.  
“Yes, but what does it matter?”   
“The resistance knew about Docherty’s son. I told her about the gun so she’d get me here.”  
Ava shook her head. “But you’re still going to die.” She reminded.  
“Don’t you want to know what I was doing, traveling the world?” Martha asked, and Ava stopped a second.  
She did want to know. That was a vice of hers. You dangle a good story in front of her, she’d drop anything and everything to hear it.   
Even the success of this plan.  
Ava flew down the steps to sit on her knees in front of Martha.  
“Tell me.” She said, sounding like a child in a candy store, begging for an extra lolli.  
Martha leaned in closer. “I told a story, that’s all.”  
Ava leaned back, disappointment evident in her face.  
“That all?”  
“I went across the continents all on my own, telling them the story of the Doctor, the Master, and the Outcast. Telling them my story. And I told them to pass it on, to spread the word, so that everyone would know about the Doctor.”   
Ava leaned forward and repeated, “Yes, but what does it matter?”  
“I gave them an instruction. Just as the Doctor said. I told them, if everyone thinks of one word at one specific time-!”  
“Oh god.” Ava said suddenly, realization dawning on her as she stood and walked backward.  
“Right across the world, 3 words, just one thought, at one moment… but with 15 satellites.”   
Ava nearly fell trying to climb the stairs backwards.  
Was she actually losing? No, there had to be a way!  
But with that countdown, in single digits now…  
“The Archangel network.” Jack suddenly voiced.  
“A telepathic field, binding the whole Human Race together, with all of them, every single person on Earth thinking the same things at the same time.”  
4  
“And that thought…”  
3  
“… is Doctor…”  
2  
“… Master…”  
1  
“… Outcast.”  
0  
Light glowed through the room as the bindings on the Doctor and the Master were gone, and shimmering bluish light glowed around the Outcast, healing his mind, body, and soul.  
“Stop it!” She cried, turning to watch all 3 of them.  
“No, no, no, no, no, no, you don’t!” She tried to run to the Outcast but get pushed back forcefully by the light.  
“Doctor, Master, Outcast…” Everyone in the room was whispering it, except the Doctor, the Master, the Outcast, and Ava.  
“Doc-!” Ava started, watching the television screen and everyone in the room in fear.  
The Oncoming Storm, she realized with a start, and rushed to the doors, only to be stopped by Jack.  
“Stop this right now, stop it!”  
“We had a whole year to tune ourselves in to the psychic network and integrate with its matrices.” The Doctor started, standing with anger in his eyes.  
Ava shook her head, looking to the other 2. The Master was outright glaring at Ava, and the Outcast had this dark, broody, angry center in those beautiful eyes of his.  
They were taking her doll away again!  
“I order you to stop!”  
All the humans were yelling now.  
“The one thing you can’t do is stop them from thinking.” The Outcast told her, voice soft.  
“Tell us the human race is degenerate now.” The Doctor said, eyes barely holding in the Oncoming Storm.  
“When they can do this!” The Master added in awe, looking down at himself.  
What was happening, really?  
“No!” She shot the laser at the Doctor, and it just bounced off.  
“I’m sorry, that isn’t going to work.” He said, voice hard.  
“Then I’ll kill them!” She pointed the Laser, but it just turned to dust in his hand.  
Ava turned to glare at the Doctor as he settled down onto the floor.  
All 3 Time Lords were flanking her now.  
Ad she laughed. “Time Lord Victorious.” She murmured.  
“The Oncoming Storm.” Then she pulled out the Vortex Manipulator.  
“Oh no you don’t!” The Master cried, grabbing hold of her as they both disappeared.  
“Protect the Paradox! Protect the Paradox!”  
~  
Ava glared down at the Master, then threw the Vortex Manipulator at him.  
“You better move along- you don’t want the other 2 to die. Or to miss something spectacular.”  
The Master stalked up to her. “You took over, you HURT the Outcast! YOU DESERVE TO DIE!”  
Ava laughed and turned, her hair getting in the Master’s face. He reeled back and brushed his face.  
“In any case, I realize this was bound to happen. But my work is done.”  
“What do you mean your work is done?”  
Ava laughed again, turning to the Master.   
“You couldn’t tell? He should have the child soon.”  
The Master’s eyes widened and he nearly fell as he took more steps back.  
“You-?!” He started, horrified.  
“That child is mine, understand? You will never have him/her. Once that child is born, on the Valiant, it will disappear, and reappear right in these arms of mine.” She held up her arms.  
“Well, maybe not these arms specifically.” She added.  
“I better change so you don’t know me. Tata! I’ve already won!”  
Ava threw her head back and white light engulfed her, and then she was gone.  
The Master nearly dropped to his knees, but he couldn’t. He had to get back.   
He set the Vortex Manipulator and pressed the button.  
~  
“Captain, the Paradox Machine!” The Doctor yelled, and then the Master appeared alone, ashen face.  
“What’s wrong?” The Doctor asked, worry in his voice.  
Before he could answer, the Outcast gave a cry of pain and folded in on himself, clutching his stomach.  
The Doctor gasped, and very nearly cried.  
“She got away. She told me about the child, said we’d never be able to have it, and she went away.” The Master murmured.  
“Get him to a medical room!” The Doctor cried, and then the alarms blared.  
Martha ran to the controls, and anyone else who would follow.  
The Master followed, and the Doctor took the Outcast to the Medical Bay.  
“Martha!” She turned when the Doctor called for her.  
“Yes, what?!”  
“You have to come with us!”  
The Outcast cried out again, leaning into the Doctor with tears streaming down his face.  
“Why, what’s wrong?”  
“You’re a Doctor, right?”  
“Almost!”  
“Do you know anything about pregnancies?”  
~  
The alarms had stopped.  
Now the only thing heard was the crying of a child.  
The Outcast was dressed again, tears and sweat soaking him as he held a small baby girl in his hands.  
Everyone ran down to look.  
The Paradox machine was destroyed.  
All of time was reversing as the whole ship spun and shook.  
The Doctor and the Master just held on to the Outcast, and they told themselves it was to keep him and the baby safe.  
When the Turbulence finally stopped, they all made it back to the control room.  
“It’s Ava’s child.” The Outcast murmured in horror.  
“2 minutes past 8:00 in the morning! The Paradox is broken! We’ve reverted back, one year, one day!” The Doctor cried happily, then went to the radio to tune in.  
“This is UNIT Central. What’s happened up there? We just saw the President assassinated!” Came the cry of a man on the radio.  
“See? Just after the President was killed, but just before the spheres arrived.”  
“But Doctor, the spheres killed the President. So shouldn’t the President be here?” The Outcast asked, holding the child closer.  
Maybe the child wasn’t going to just disappear like Ava said.  
“Everything back to normal, planet Earth restored. None of it happened.”  
“What’s her name?” The Master asked.  
“I’ll name her something human…”   
He looked down at the child. “Zelene. My little ray of sunshine.”  
And then suddenly the child vanished.  
The Outcast stared in horror at his arms, and then the tears came back.  
They were all staring at him now, as he kept staring at his now empty arms.  
“Z-Zelene?” He moaned out finally, tears making tracks down his cheeks.  
“I’m so sorry.” The Doctor said to him softly, and the Outcast bent forward, crossing his arms over his knees and burying his face in them as he sobbed.  
“I can remember it, though.” Francine said softly.  
“We’re at the eye of the storm, the only one’s who’ll ever know.” The Doctor answered.  
“What are you going to do with me?” The Master suddenly asked the Doctor.  
“You’re my responsibility now. Maybe our responsibility.” The Doctor looked to the Outcast, who had stopped sobbing and was now wiping his eyes.  
“Would you come with us?”  
The Outcast nodded, giving a halfhearted smile that looked just a little forced.  
“Of course.”  
“So we’re just going to travel with you, then?” The Master asked.  
The Doctor nodded. “It’s time to change. Maybe I’ve been wandering for too long. Now I’ve got people to care for.”   
A quiet fell over the room, and the Outcast stood slowly, and turned to the Master, and hugged him.  
The Master didn’t hug back at first, then awkwardly put his arms around the man holding onto him.  
~  
The 3 Time Lords, Martha, and Jack stood leaned on a railing talking with each other.  
“Time was, every single one of these people knew your guys’ names.” Martha said slowly.  
“And that was the year.” The Master murmured sardonically.  
Martha rolled her eyes and looked to the Doctor.  
“Now they’ve all forgotten you.”  
“Good.” The Outcast said quietly.  
“Back to work.” Jack said, climbing under the railing and turning back to look at them.  
“I really don’t mind, though.” Jack looked up at the Doctor.  
“Come with me.” He finished.  
“Had plenty of time to think that past year, the year that never was.” Jack turned to look at where Torchwood was hidden.  
“And I kept thinking about that team of mine.”  
“You kept thinking about Ianto.” The Outcast teased, and Jack blushed. He really regretted telling the Outcast about Ianto now.  
“Like you said, Responsibility.”  
“Defending the Earth. Can’t argue with that.” The Doctor said.  
The Doctor grabbed Jack’s arm and pulled out his sonic.  
“Hey, I need that!” Jack complained.  
“Can’t have you walking around with a time-traveling teleport. You could go anywhere, twice.” The Doctor explained.  
“Second time to apologize.” The Outcast said softly.  
“And what about me, can you fix that, will I ever be able to die?” Jack asked impulsively.  
“Nothing I can do.” The Doctor said, shaking his head.  
“Why would you want to die? I mean, humans are looking and searching for immortality, but you just want to get rid of it.” The Master said.  
“You’re an impossible thing, Jack. Embrace that.” The Outcast smiled at him.  
Jack laughed. “Been called that before.” He turned to leave, but then turned back.  
He saluted them.  
“Sirs. Ma’am.”  
He turned to walk away again, then turned back.  
“But I keep wondering, what about aging?”  
“Oh, vanity.” The Master rolled his eyes.  
“Cause I can’t die, but I keep getting older. The odd little gray hair, you know? What happens if I live for a million years?”  
“I really don’t know.” The Doctor answered.  
“I do.” The Outcast whispered into the Master’s ear, but he just gestured to Jack.  
“Okay, vanity. Sorry, yeah.” Jack waved his arms.  
“Can’t help it. Used to be a poster boy back when I was a kid, living on the Boeshane Peninsula. Tiny little place. I was the first one ever to be signed up for the Time Agency. They were so proud of me.”  
The Outcast turned to the Master and mouthed what Jack said at the same time he said it, “The Face of Boe, they called me.”  
He turned back, and nearly laughed at the others expressions.  
“Hmm. I’ll see you.” Jack turned and ran off.  
“No.” The Master drawled out.  
“Can’t be.” Martha added.  
“No, definitely not, no.” The Doctor whispered.  
The Outcast got off the railing and smiled. “It is.” He walked off to where the Tardis was.  
Laughter was heard behind him, and he chuckled along with them.  
~  
The Doctor leaned against the Tardis, watching the Jones family through the window.  
“I think we’re in major stalker mode.” The Outcast said cheerfully, earning 2 glares from the others.  
“What?”  
They walked into the Tardis and the Doctor threw his coat to the side.  
The Master immediately jumped onto the couch and sprawled out, as the Outcast sat on the spinny chair in front of the console.  
The Doctor just walked around the console, then sighed when he got to the spinny chair and the Outcast was in it. “Seriously?”   
The Outcast just spun in it, laughing slightly.  
Martha opened the door and closed it behind her.  
“Right, then, off we go, the open road!” The Doctor cried, rubbing his hands together and turning to look at the console.  
“There is a burst of Starfire right now, over the coast of Meta Sigmafolio. Oh, the sky is like oil on water. Fancy a look?” He asked Martha, and she just watched him solemnly.  
“Or, back in time, we could- I don’t know, Charles II? Henry VIII. I KNOW! What about Agatha Christie? I’d love to meet Agatha Christie, bet she’s brilliant…” His words died on his lips as he saw the look on her face.  
“Okay.”  
“I just can’t.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Spent all these years training to be a Doctor, now I’ve got people to look after. They saw half the planet slaughtered, and they’re devastated, I can’t leave them.”  
“Course not.”  
Silence settled over the Tardis, then the Outcast said, “Martha Jones. Your name was the color of Clear Gold II and the texture of as thatched roof.” He looked almost wistful.  
“Thank you.” The Doctor told her once she got over the initial confusion of what the Outcast said.   
They hugged, and when they pulled away, the Doctor continued, “Martha Jones, you saved the world.”  
“Yes I did.” She affirmed. “I spent a lot of time with you, thinking I was second best, but do you know what?” She poked him in the stomach. “I am good.”  
They laughed together.   
“You going to be all right?” Martha asked.  
“Oh yes, I have the Master and the Outcast.”  
“Right then. Bye.” She kissed his cheek and turned to leave.  
She opened the door and left. As the Doctor turned to the console, however, the door opened again and Martha shouted, “Cause the thing is, it’s like my friend Vicky.” The door closed behind her.  
“She lived with this bloke, student housing. There were five of them, all packed in, and this bloke was called Shaun. And she loved him.”  
“Is this story going anywhere?” The Master called, and the Outcast shushed him.  
The Master grumbled, but he obliged.  
“She did, she completely adored him, spent all day long talking about him.”  
“I don’t like agreeing with the Master, but is this going anywhere?” The Doctor asked.  
“Hush up, I like this story already.” The Outcast told him, sticking his tongue out at him then turning to Martha.  
“Yes, it’s going somewhere! Cause he never looked at her twice. I mean, he liked her, but that was it. And she wasted years pining after him, years of her life. Cause while he was around, she never looked at anyone else.” She pushed her hand up then let it fall back down limply, gesturing to the Doctor.  
“And I told her, I always said to her, time and time again, I said, ‘Get out.’ So this is me, getting out.”   
The Doctor nodded, and she took out her universal phone, throwing it to the Doctor. “Keep that. Cause I’m not having you disappear. If that rings- when that rings, you’d better come running, you got it?”  
The Doctor held the phone up. “Got it.”  
Martha turned and walked toward the door, then turned half her body back. “I’ll see you guys again, misters.” Then she left the Tardis again, for good that time.  
He slowly pushed the lever on the console down, and alarms started blaring as the Tardis spun and nearly caused the Outcast to fly to the ceiling.  
“Stop that, stop it!” The Doctor cried, as time seemed to wobble around them.  
The Tardis righted itself, and the Master walked up to the console. “What the hell did you do?” He asked.  
“I didn’t do anything!” The Doctor complained.  
“What’s your problem?” He wondered, as he went around the console.  
He bumped into someone who was saying, “Right, just settle down now.”  
The Master’s eyes widened in surprise as he walked backwards next to the Outcast.  
The Outcast whistled slightly.  
“Excuse me.” The Doctor said politely, and the… other Doctor said, “So sorry.”  
10 looked up with wide eyes as he realized who it was.  
“What?” He asked.  
“What?” 5 practically mimicked.  
“What?” 10 said again.  
“Who are you?” 5 asked, and the Outcast popped into the conversation.  
“That’s 10, he’s one of your Regenerations, whatever that means. Sorry, we’re just simple ordinary human companions of the Doctor. Uh, future you, I guess?”  
The Master was about to object, when the Doctor- 10 agreed. “Yes, my 2 companions Lane-…” He pointed to the Outcast, “And Harry.” He pointed to the Master.  
“Yes, me and Lane are married.” The Master agreed, and 10 shut his eyes and breathed deeply. The Master was infuriating sometimes.  
The Outcast fought an eye roll. “Yes, it does seem to be that way.” He sighed.  
“Brilliant. Well, no, totally wrong, universe goes bang in 5 minutes, big emergency, but brilliant.”  
“No, I’m the Doctor. Who are you?!”  
“Yes you are, you are the Doctor.”  
“Yes I am. You expect me to believe you are to?”  
“Oh good for you, Doctor. Good for brilliant old you!”  
“Is there something wrong with you?”  
“We’ve been trying to figure that out ever since we met him.” The Master said snarkily, earning a glare from 10 and a laugh from the Outcast.  
10 looked back at 5 and laughed. “Oh, there it goes, the frowny face! I remember that one! Mind you…” He played with 5’s face a moment, and the Outcast laughed at the face 5 was making. “Bit saggier than I remember, the hair’s a bit greyer. But that’s cause of me, though.” 5 poked his own face, wide eyes.  
“The 2 of us together has shorted out the time differential, it should all snap back together once we get you home.” 10 grabbed at 5’s coat. “Bet we can close that coat again.”  
Then he stepped back and said in a voice filled with laughter, “But never mind that, look at you! The hat, the coat, the crickety cricket stuff, the…”  
“The stick of celery.” The Outcast added, staring at it.  
“Bit of a bold move.” The Master added, staring as well.  
“Brave choice, celery. But fair play to you, not a lot of men can carry off a decorative vegetable.”  
“Shut up!” 5 yelled, and 10 leaned back.  
5 took off his hat and said, “There is something very wrong with my Tardis and I’ve got to do something about it very, very quickly. And it would help, it really would help if there wasn’t some skinny idiot ranting in my face about every single thing that happens to be in front of him!”  
And the dam broke as the Outcast broke into laughs, and the Master quickly followed suit, both of them earning glares from both Doctors.  
“Ok, sorry… Doctor.” 10 said resignedly.  
“Thank you!” 5 said, turning to the console.  
“Whoa, the back of our head!” 10 cried, and 5 gave him an unbelieving look. “What?”  
“10 is really fangirling over 5, isn’t he?” The Outcast asked the Master, and he nodded.  
“Sorry, sorry, it’s not something you see every day.”   
“Should we be worried?” The Master asked, and the Outcast shook his head. “Nah, this is fun.”  
“The back of your own head. Mind you, I can see why you wear a hat. I don’t want to seem vain, but could you keep that on?”   
5 turned swiftly to look at 10.  
“What have you done to my Tardis?! You’ve changed the desktop theme, haven’t you? What’s this one, coral?”  
“Well…”  
“It’s worse than the leopard skin.”  
He put on the glasses, and 10 started fangirling again.  
“Oh! And there they come, the brainy specs! You don’t even need them, you just think they make you look a bit clever!” 10 rocked on his legs, and the alarms blared again.  
“That’s an alert…” 5 took off the glasses.  
“Level 5, indicates a temporal collision. It’s like 2 Tardis have merged, but there’s definitely only one Tardis present.” 10 leaned against the console and watched 5.  
“It’s like 2 Time Zones at war in the heart of the Tardis! That’s a Paradox.”  
‘Would you like to tune this out?’ The Outcast asked the Master in his head.  
‘Nah, you go ahead, I like watching this.’  
‘Suit yourself.’  
“Oh no, of course! You like to go hands free. Like, ‘Hey, I’m the Doctor, I can save the universe using a kettle and some string, and look at me, I’m wearing a vegetable.’”  
The Outcast tuned out in favor of reading the readings on the screens on the console.  
When he tuned back in to hear the cluster bell tolling.  
“Ooh, that’s not good.”  
“Yeah, right on time, that’s my cue!” 10 cried, rushing about the console. The Outcast rushed in to help, and the Master sighed and followed suit.  
The Outcast couldn’t really understand much of what 5 said, but it was something about a black hole that could destroy the universe.  
“Yeah, that’s my fault, actually. I was rebuilding the Tardis, forgot to put the shields back up.”  
“I knew this was your fault.” The Master accused.  
The Doctor glared at him, then looked back at 5. “Your Tardis and my Tardis- well, the same Tardis, different points in its own time stream collided and, well, there you go, end of the universe. Butter Fingers, but don’t worry, I know exactly how this works out, watch, venting the thermal buffer!”  
The Outcast started working with him, listening to what the Doctor said.  
“Oh, a supernova, explosion cancels out implosion, and vice versa!” The Master realized.  
Light blew across the Tardis and the Outcast closed his eyes.  
As the Tardis grew stable, the Outcast dropped back into the chair, close his eyes, and fell asleep.  
He woke back up only a few minutes later when something crashed into the side of the Tardis.  
It knocked all 3 of them off their feet and/or seats.  
“What?” The Outcast asked slowly.  
“What?!?” The Master asked, eyes wide and watching the ship pull back and the wall start to fix itself.  
The Doctor leaped forward to look at the life saver that fell off the ship. It read TITANIC.  
“What.” The Doctor basically stated, looking up at the ship with wide eyes.  
Cast  
5th Doctor – Peter Davidson  
The Doctor – David Tennant  
The Master – John Simm  
The Outcast (Lane) Version 1 – Georgie Henley  
The Outcast (Lane) Version 2 – Benedict Cumberbatch  
Martha Jones – Freema Agyeman  
Captain Jack Harkness – John Barrowman  
Wolf Mistress Ava – Rachel Hurd-Wood   
Francine Jones – Adjoa Andoh  
Tish Jones – Gugu Mbatha-Raw  
Clive Jones – Trevor Laird  
Leo Jones – Reggie Yates  
Thomas Milligan – Tom Ellis  
Professor Docherty – Ellie Haddington  
Sphere Voices – Zoe Thorne; Gerard Logan; Johnnie Lyne-Pirkis  
Authoress – Karrine Genesis


	5. Voyage of the Damned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another story in this series between this episode and the next.  
> Deadpool: It will have me, the Outcast, Donna, Sylvia, and Wilfred Mott.  
> It won't have the Master or the Doctor, but it will reference them.

The Outcast watched as the Doctor fixed the wall of his TARDIS and materialized them inside the ship.

"Damn, you did that quickly." He said, and the Doctor gave an eye roll before walking out. The Master and the Outcast followed suit.

When they stepped into the- was it a foyer? – The Outcast gawked in awe.

"Rich kids!" The Master hushed him.

When they passed the creepy Angel gold things, the Master looked at them with trepidation. "Those things are really… Creepy…"

Suddenly its head moved to look at them, and the Doctor snapped to attention. The Outcast immediately took a step backwards, and the Master jumped.

They just stared, so the 3 walked away from them.

"Scary fuckers…" The Master whispered under his breath, and the Outcast nodded in agreement.

There was a bunch of random aliens around them, and the Outcast giggled morbidly. "The Titanic of the future? It's just destined to crash!"

They looked out the window, and the Doctor gave this, 'Oh, ok, I understand now!' look.

"Right…!" He drew out.

"Attention all passengers, the Titanic is now in orbit above Sol 3, also known as Earth."

"Are we, like, Earth magnets or something?" The Outcast asked.

"Population- Human. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Christmas."

"Oooh! Where's my presents?" The Outcast squealed.

BBC/KarrineGenesis

David Tennant

John Simm

Benedict Cumberbatch

Kylie Minogue

THE LAST THREE

Voyage of the Damned by KarrineGenesis a.k.a. Karrine Schwimley/Basis by Russell T Davies

"Ok, we are going to die here, aren't we?" The Outcast asked, and the Master finally snapped.

"Stop being so negative, you're going to Jinx us!"

"Oi, Christmas is a time for celebration and family, not snotty ass remarks from you!"

They glared at each other and looked away.

"Are you 2 feeling alright?" The Doctor asked, watching them curiously.

The Outcast grumbled, "Fine."

The Master nodded.

The Doctor gave them a skeptical look, before he turned to the screen in front of him.

"And really, I couldn't care less about this argument, he'll forget it soon." The Master told the Doctor, and the Outcast snapped to attention.

"E-excuse me?!"

"You do have a really bad memory, I don't doubt that you'll forget 20 minutes after this conversation." The Doctor added sheepishly.

The Outcast gave a huff. "I remember a woman, from when I was human. I think she was my adoptive mother. And a little boy, he was my brother. I may not have a good memory, but Damnit-!" He slammed his hand on the table next to them, causing the other 2 to jump. "I will remember this conversation!"

"And why?" The Master asked, and the Doctor gave them an uneasy look. This was not going to end well.

"Because I hate you right now." The Outcast hissed, getting closer to the Master.

The Master's jaw dropped. He may not have wanted to believe it, but the glare the Outcast was giving him was really telling him that what the Outcast was saying was true.

The Outcast turned away, and watched the screen.

The Master touched his shoulder, but the Outcast just shrugged his hand away and hissed, "Don't touch me."

The Master reared back and blinked away an almost tear.

The Doctor grimaced. They turned to the screen and watched the Max Capricorn video.

Someone told them Merry Christmas, and the Outcast gave him a half smile.

They passed many people dancing, but the walk was void of the Outcast's childish remarks, the Master's sardonic remarks, and the Doctor's curious remarks.

"It's not a holiday for me, not while I've still got my vone." The Outcast watched the ground as he walked, glancing at the man on the phone for a second before going back to following the other 2 Time Lords.

"Now do as I say and sell."

The Outcast looked over at an angel and walked to it.

"Evening. Passengers 58, 59, and 60. Terrible memory." He gave a glare at the 2 behind his shoulder, before turning back to the angel with a smile.

"Remind me, you would be…?"

There was a chime and the angel started talking. "Information- Heavenly Host supplying tourist information.

"Oh good! Now, tell me, cause I'm really drawing a blank here, where are we… from?" He asked tentitevely, and the chime sounded.

"Information- the Titanic is en route from the planet Sto in the Cassavalian Belt."

The Outcast gave an, 'Oh, ok, I understand.' Look, and the Heavenly Host continued, "The purpose of the cruise is to experience primitive cultures."

"P-primitive?"

"Titanic, um, who thought of the name?" The Doctor joined the conversation, and the Outcast took a step back.

Chime. "Information- It was chosen as the most famous vessel of the planet Earth."

"Don't you know why it was famous?" The Master gave the Heavenly Host an incredulous face, and the Heavenly Host chimed.

"Information- All designations are chosen by Mr. Max Capricorn, president of M-Max- Max- Max- Max-!"

"Um… that was not the question. Is it broken, did you break it?" The Outcast asked the Master.

"I didn't break it, if anyone broke it, it was you!"

"Me?!" The Outcast cried, giving the Master a glare.

"Yes, you!" Before they could keep arguing, a man came up to them and went to the Heavenly Host.

"Sorry, sirs, we can handle this." He called another man and they turned it off, about to carry it away.

"Software problem, that's all. Leave it with us, sirs. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too." The Outcast said quietly, nodding to the man.

"That's another one down. What's going on with these things?"

"There's something wrong." The Outcast whispered to the Doctor once he heard what the man had whispered.

He turned and walked off, and the 2 Time Lords had to hurry to catch up.

"Don't leave us behind!" The Master hissed, and the Outcast gave him a venomous glare.

There was a crash of glass and the Outcast stopped to watch a blonde woman and the man on the phone standing over a tray of broken glass.

"For Tov's sake, watch where you're going! This jacket's a genuine Earth antique! This staff is a bunch of idiots!" The phone man yelled.

"I'm sorry, sir." The blonde said, and the Outcast walked towards them.

"Oh no…" The Doctor grimaced to the Master, and they shared an uneasy look.

"Now, no need to apologize, miss…"

"Astrid Peth."

"Right." The Outcast turned to the man.

"This guy is just being an asshole because his sale fell through."

The man paled. "H-how did you know that?!" He squeaked.

"I know everything, you bastard, I also know you're cheating on your wife and that this was not just a business trip, the woman your cheating on your wife with is here." The man grew red in the face.

"You-!" The man didn't finish as he raised a hand and the Outcast whispered, "Shit." Before the man's fist had collided with his face.

The Outcast snapped to the right, the direction the man had hit him in, and stumbled slightly.

He felt someone hold him and heard yelling, before he was seated and someone was holding a rag to the side of his face. He opened his eyes to see the Doctor in front of him, slowly washing the cut on his face from the ring the man wore.

"You are such an idiot sometimes, you know that?" The Doctor smiled at him slightly.

"I could say the same for you, Mr. Smith." The Outcast quirked a smile, before wincing in pain from the movement.

The Master was helping Astrid pick up the glass next to them, and the Outcast gave him a sad look.

"Why do you hate him right now? Why are you fighting him?" The Doctor asked him suddenly, and the Outcast sighed, looking down.

"Because he's a sardonic bastard who started this. He's the one who brought Ava. He's the one who first tried to enslave the Earth. And do you think he said sorry?" The Doctor looked back to the section of the Outcast's face which got hit.

"It's going to bruise pretty badly." The Doctor said, and the Outcast looked down. "Yeah…"

"Thank you, sir." Astrid was talking to the Outcast. He looked up slightly and nodded. "I needed something to get my mind off things anyway. No one should be yelled at like that." Astrid gave him a warm smile, and the Outcast gave her a small tentative one.

Astrid started to walk away, but the Outcast stood and followed her.

"I'm the Outcast by the way. Nice to meet you. Merry Christmas."

She gave him a slightly surprised look. "Merry Christmas, sir."

"Oh, call me Lane, none of this 'sir' business."

"You enjoying the cruise?" Astrid asked, and the other 2 Time Lords gawked at Astrid and the Outcast.

"Um… yeah, I suppose. I don't know. It's hard to enjoy it when I'm fighting with one of the 2 people I'm with."

"What are you fighting about?" Astrid asked.

The Outcast sighed. "It's nothing, just something he did before we got here. What about you? A pretty lady like you must be with someone here, right? A long way from home, planet Sto."

"Doesn't feel that different."

"Are they flirting?" The Master asked with wide eyes, and the Doctor shrugged with a shocked look on his face.

"I spent three years at the Spaceport Diner, travel all the way here, and I'm still waiting tables."

They started towards the window as Astrid picked up some glasses. "Well that's not the job for you! You should be a model, an actress on the big screen, something that takes you everywhere and shows people just how wonderful you are."

"Are you flirting with me?" The question caught him off guard, and, after thinking over everything he said, he nodded. "I believe I am."

When she gave him a warm smile, he asked, "No shore leave?"

"We're not allowed. They can't afford the insurance. I just wanted to try it, just once."

The Outcast quirked a smile and they both turned to Earth through the window.

"I used to watch the ships heading out to the stars, and I always dreamt of-…" Astrid shook her head. "It sounds daft."

"No, any dream of anyone is never daft. And you can never be daft anyways."

Astrid blushed slightly. "I dreamt of travelling out into the stars, to see the whole universe bursting at the seams with life." The Outcast chuckled lightly.

"That's probably one of the best dreams I've ever heard anyone have." He hesitated a moment.

"How would you like to travel with me and the other 2 who have the audacity to stare at us without even pretending not to." The Outcast didn't even glance at them, but Astrid gave them a quick look.

"S-so you travel a lot?" The Outcast nodded.

"All the time. Just for fun. Well, that's the Doctor's plan anyways. Never quite works out the way he wanted it to."

"Must be rich, then?"

"No, not really. Haven't got a penny." He leaned over and whispered, "Stowaways."

Astrid gave him a slight smile and an incredulous look.

"Kidding."

"Seriously."

"No."

"Oh, yeah."

"How'd you get on board?"

"It was an accident, really. My friend the Doctor's got a… ship. He was rebuilding her and the idiot let the defenses down. We bumped into the Titanic- well, the Titanic bumped into us, poked a whole right through the wall. We fixed it, and here we are. Bit of a party, so you know, why not?" The Outcast winced when he smiled a big smile and whispered, "Ow."

"Man had a mean right hook."

Astrid looked around. "I should report you."

"Will you?"

Astrid stayed silent, then said, "I'll get you a drink." She added in a quieter voice, "On the house."

The Outcast watched her walk away and smiled again.

"You flirted with her!" The Outcast jumped when the Doctor said this in a whisper-yell, and the Outcast nodded.

"I didn't think you had the guts to do it." The Master said, and the Outcast gave him a slight glare, but otherwise ignored the comment.

Laughter was heard, and the 3 made their way towards the people the group was laughing at. "Just ignore them." The man told his apparent wife, and the Doctor went to one of the extra chairs at their table. There was three. The Doctor stood at the far right one, the Master on the far left, and the Outcast in the middle.

"Are these seats taken?" The Doctor asked, and the man smiled.

"Not at all, go on ahead."

"Something's tickled them." The Doctor started.

"They told us it was fancy dress. Very funny, I'm sure." The woman said.

"They're just picking on us because we haven't paid." The man said.

"We won our tickets in a competition." The man pointed to his wife, and the Master kicked his leg out a few inches. It hit the Outcast, earning him a very venomous glare, before he turned back to the couple and smiled softly.

"I had to name the five husbands of Joofie Crystalle. In 'By the Light of the Asteroid.'" The woman said proudly.

"Do you ever watch 'By the Light of the Asteroid'?"

"No, but I do know it focuses on the Crystal family, one of whom is named Joofie Crystalle, growing up by an asteroid. Joofie has five husbands and it features twins." The Outcast answered sheepishly. "Most of which you have just told me. I'm just proving I have a better memory than most people think." The last sentence was mainly directed at the Master, who gave him a hard glare.

"That's it. Oh, it's marvelous."

"But we're not good enough for that lot." The man pointed slightly with his thumb at the group that had been laughing earlier.

"They think we should be in steerage."

"If I hadn't already stood up for one of the very nice waitresses here and got punched, I would stand up for you to. I really don't want another cut and bruise on my face, however."

"But we can't have that, can we?" The Doctor asked, directing his sonic at them.

He turned it on and the Champaign popped open, squirting the group all over.

The Outcast stifled his laughter, and the Master didn't even try as he laughed out loud.

"Did- did you do that?!" The woman asked in awe.

"Maybe." The Doctor answered, putting his sonic away.

The couple started laughing along with the Master and the Outcast.

"We like you." The woman told the 3, and the Outcast gave them a quick smile.

"We do. I'm Morvin van Hoff." He shook hands with all 3 Time Lords and he added, "This my good woman, Foon."

She shook hands with them as well.

"Foon, hello, I'm the Doctor!"

"Oh, I'm gonna need a Doctor time I'm finished with that buffet."

"I'm Lane, and this is Harry." That earned the Outcast a glare.

"Have a buffalo wing." Foon offered.

"They must be enormous, these buffalo. So many wings."

"Wha-?" The Master started, but the Outcast covered his mouth and gave him a look.

"Attention, please! Shore leave tickets Red 6-7 now activated."

"Red 6-7, Red 6-7."

"Ooh, Red 6-7, that's us. Are you Red 6-7?"

"Might as well be." The Doctor laughed, pulling the Outcast up, and the Master stood as well.

"Come on then!" Morvin smiled.

"We're going to Earth."

The Outcast gave them thumbs up.

"Red 6-7, Red 6-7, this way, fast as you can!" Some guy called out, and the 5 hurried towards him. The Outcast stopped when he saw Astrid and she held a tray with a drink on it. "I got you that drink."

He took a sip and said, "And I got you a treat. Come on." She gave him a quizzical look and he guided her toward the man shouting Red 6-7.

He swiped the Doctor's psychic paper and showed it to the man.

"Red 6-7, plus 3."

"Uh… quickly, sir, please, and take the 4 teleport bracelets if you would."

The Outcast distributed them to the Doctor, the Master, and Astrid.

"I'll get the sack!" She whispered.

"Brand new sky." Was the Outcast's answer. They stared at each other for a few moments, before Astrid smiled and put the bracelet on.

"… and I shall be taking you to old London Town in the country of UK, ruled over by good King Wenceslas. Now, human beings worship the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws, and his wife Mary. And every Christmas Eve, the people of UK go to war with the Country of Turkey. They then eat the Turkey-people for Christmas dinner, like savages."

"What?" The Master laughed.

"Um…" The Outcast started.

"Excuse me, uh, sorry. Sorry. But, um, where did you get all this from?"

"Well, I have a first-class degree in Earthonomics."

"Uh… what?" The Outcast laughed.

"Now, stand by." The man ignored him, and he looked over to Astrid. "None of that was right, just so you know." Astrid nodded.

"And me, and me! Red 6-7." A little red man with spikes ran up.

"Well, take a bracelet, sir."

"But, um, hold on. Hold on. What was your name?" The Doctor asked him.

The man looked up and answered, "Bannakaffalatta."

The Doctor said, "Ok, Bannakaffalatta, but its Christmas Eve down there, late-night shopping, tons of people."

"He's like a talking conker." The Master added, and Banna turned swiftly to him. "No offense."

"But you'll cause a riot, cause the streets are gonna be packed with shoppers-!" The Doctor was cut off as the historian teleported the group to Earth.

"-And parties, and people, and- and- oh." The streets were empty.

"Now, spending money, I have a credit card in Earth currency. If you want to buy trinkets, or, uh, stockings or the local delicacy, which is known as 'beef'. But don't stray too far, it could be dangerous."

"So, Astrid…" The Outcast started.

"Lane, this is… amazing."

"Any day now, they start boxing."

"Very good, very good."

"It should be full." The Doctor mused to the Master. The Outcast was having none of it. "Doctor, can't we just enjoy our time here instead of trying to figure out some strange thing?"

"It should be busy, something's wrong." The Doctor continued, and the Outcast led Astrid away.

"It's beautiful."

"Really, do you think so? It's just a street. You should see the Grand Canyon. The pyramids are beautiful, and… New Zealand."

"But it's a different planet! I'm standing on a different planet! Th-th-there's concrete and- and shops- alien shops- real alien shops!" The Outcast smiled at her.

"Look, no stars in the sky." She sniffed. "And it smells. It stinks!" She jumped for joy. "Oh, this is amazing! Thank you!" She hugged him.

"My offer still stands. I can show you whole different planets, all parts, we can go through time." The Outcast suddenly added, and she watched him a moment.

The Doctor and the Master walked up to a man in a newspaper booth. "Hello there, sorry, um, obvious question, but where's everybody gone?" The Doctor asked.

"Oho, scared."

"Scared of what?" The Master asked.

"Where have you been living?" The man asked.

"London, at Christmas? Not safe, is it."

Astrid and the Outcast had walked up to the booth then.

"Why?" Astrid asked.

"Well it's them, up above! Look, Christmas before last, we had that big, bloody spaceship, everyone standing on a roof. And then last year that Christmas Star," He pointed to the TV. "Electrocuting all over the place, draining the Thames."

"Well, why are you still here?" The Master asked.

Astrid grabbed the Outcast's hand and they looked to each other.

"This place is amazing." She said in awe.

"Isn't it? It's my favorite planet."

"And this year, lord knows what! So everybody's scarpered, gone to the country, all except me and her majesty."

The Doctor told him something, and the bracelets teleported them back to the Titanic, leaving a poor Wilfred Mott, still not knowing them much at all.

"I was in midsentence!" The Doctor complained, and Astrid clung to the Outcast.

"Yes, I'm sorry about that. Uh, bit of a problem." The historian said, and the Master rolled his eyes.

"If I could have your bracelets-!"

"Apologies, ladies and gentlemen and Bannakaffalatta."

Some men started, and Astrid immediatly let the Outcast go and walked off to stand with her back towards them.

"Uh, we seem to have suffered a power fluctuation. If you'd like to return to the festivities and on behalf of Max Capricorn Cruise liners…"

The Outcast suddenly couldn't hear them as his memory fluctuated and the future pounded against his ears.

He fell to the floor with a groan and watched as bits and pieces of the future scraped at his head.

Astrid… Astrid was going to die.

The Master fell to the floor on his knees in front of the Outcast and shook him slightly, but the Outcast's eyes were already glazed over. He fell forward and the Master immediately wrapped his arms around the lanky man.

"I'm sorry, Outcast." He whispered in the Outcast's ear.

Unsure what to say next, he whispered what came to mind. "I'm sorry for making you relive those horrors. I'm sorry about Zelene. I'm sorry about not apologizing before. I'm so sorry…"

The Outcast brought shaking hands up to the Master's shoulders and sobbed into his chest, "Astrid's going to die…"

XXXPageBreakXXX

The Outcast leaned into the Master as the Doctor played with one of the screens.

They ignored what he said until 6 guards came along and grabbed them, taking them away.

"Oh come one. What are we, trouble magnets?!" The Outcast cried.

"You've got a rock storm heading for the ship and the shields are down!" The Doctor growled.

"Just listen to him, he has the brainy specs on." The Master told the guards holding him.

The Outcast elbowed the man on his right and kicked the man on his left where the sun did not shine. The Doctor and the Master managed to get their guards to let go of them before they ran off.

The Doctor grabbed the microphone that the woman had been singing in and the Outcast immediately clutched his head when the feedback whined a rusty colored spiral.

"Everyone listen to me! This is an emergency! Get to the life-!" A Heavenly Host grabbed onto the Doctor's mouth and the Outcast turned and bolted away as another grabbed onto the Master.'

"Outc-!" The Master's voice muffled before he could finish.

The Outcast climbed up towards where the ship was being driven… piloted… something.

Astrid followed where the 2 were taken, and then went Foon and Morvin. Finally, Bannakaffalatta said, "Them- friends." Before waving goodbye to the people he was with and running off.

The man who had punched the Outcast looked out the window to see 3 glowing dots coming towards the ship.

The Outcast took a few steps back from where he was and looked around, before feeling people hold onto him, and he cursed.

"Sir, I can vouch for them." Astrid tried, and the guards holding the Outcast dragged him towards the others. "I found this one trying to get to the bridge."

"Oh that's the word? I forgot it."

"You left us!" The Doctor spoke to him incredulously.

"I was trying to put up the shields."

"Uh, steward, they- they have just had a bit too much to drink!" Morvin cried.

"Sir, something seems to have gone wrong, all the teleports have gone down."

"Not now!"

The Outcast's vision was clouded with all colors and his head ached.

When they got under where all the pipes were, the man who had punched the Outcast yelled, "Oi! I'm telling you, steward, the shields are down!"

"Listen to him!" The Doctor yelled, and the Master yelled it as well, louder.

The alarms had started.

The Outcast gave a cry as the meteors slammed into the side of the Titanic. He grabbed a hold of Astrid and tried to shield her from the fire.

Everyone was screaming, that's all he could tell. The explosion flung them all to the side.

"Sh!" The Master cried, and everyone hushed.

"It's stopping." The Doctor continued.

"You alright?" The Outcast asked, helping Astrid up.

"I think so…" Astrid answered.

Then he turned to the Master and made a, tch, sound. "I told you it was a bad name for a ship."

"And I told you that you jinxed us."

"Everyone, ladies and gentleman and Bannakaffalatta, I must apologize on behalf of Max Capricorn cruise liners."

"He did this on purpose." The Outcast put in, getting everyone's attention.

"He's a cyborg, he payed the dying pilot person's family for him to crash the Titanic into Earth or something like that."

"We seem to have had a small collision…" The man continued, waving the Outcast off.

"SMALL?!" Foon and Morvin cried incredulously.

Now there was yelling again, and before the Outcast could stop himself, he yelled, "OI! TEIKASHI!" They stopped.

"What?" The worker person asked.

"It means stop in Japanese. Now, before you run your mouth about some random shit, before you complain about money, before you start making sarcastic remarks, we need to think, what the hell are we going to do?"

Silence met the Outcast's rant.

"If you all could stay here while I ascertain the exact nature of the- the situation-!"

"I advise against that, the Heavenly Hosts are roaming around trying to kill us. Almost reminds me of 5 Nights at Freddie's." The Outcast added, and the man rolled his eyes before he kept walking away.

He turned to a door and was about to open it.

"Don't open it!" The Doctor cried.

"You aren't that much of an idiot, are you?" The Outcast asked, but the man opened it and the air lock collapsed.

The Doctor managed to turn on the oxygen shield.

"Everyone alright?" The Doctor called.

"Astrid? Foon? Morvin? Master? Outcast? Mr. Cooper? Bannakaffalatta?"

"Yes."

The Doctor looked up to the other man, and gave him a half glare before asked, "You, what was your name?"

"Uh, Rickston Slade."

"Yeah, you punched me. The whole right side of my face is bruised and I have a cut on my cheekbone." The Outcast told him darkly.

"You alright?" The Doctor asked.

"Yeah, no thanks to that idiot."

The Outcast got an incredulous look and straightened. "The steward just died!" He cried.

"Then he's a dead idiot."

Astrid gasped and the Outcast got angry before kicking the man in his unmentionables.

All the men in the room except the Outcast winced.

"Alright, calm down!" The Master yelled, though you could hear the laughter in his voice.

"Just stay still, all of you. Hold on." The Doctor walked off, and Astrid turned to the Outcast.

"What happened? How come the shields were down? Was it really on purpose?"

The Outcast nodded. "I heard them up in the bridge talking about it. The shipmate tried to stop him, but the captain shot the shipmate."

"How many dead?" The Outcast stopped and looked down.

"We're alive, just focus on that."

He looked up and gave her a smile.

"I will get you out of here, Astrid. I promise. Look at me."

Astrid turned to him, away from the outside, and they looked into each other's eyes.

"I promise." She nodded.

"Good."

Astrid went over to talk to the Doctor and the Master went over to him.

"So, I knew those Heavenly Hosts were evil."

The Doctor went over to talk to people on the bridge.

The sailor answered, and the Outcast whispered to the Doctor, "He has a gunshot wound."

The Outcast fell into the Master suddenly and fainted.

The Doctor introduced himself by telling them he was a Time Lord and how old he was.

"Them 2, over there, their Time Lords to. The Outcast… has fainted, why has he fainted?"

The Master shrugged.

"Alright. Well… ALLONS-Y!"

XXXPageBreakXXX

"Oh, we've got a Host."

"Doctor, those things are evil, get away from that." The Outcast automatically said, and the Doctor looked between him and the Host.

"Alright, don't touch it." They kept going.

"Alright, how do we get through this block?" The Master asked.

"We shift it." Astrid answered.

"That's the attitude!" The Doctor remarked cheerfully.

"Master, Outcast, Rickston, Mr. Copper, Morvin, and you, Bannakaffalatta- Look, can I just call you "Banna"? It's gonna save a lot of time." The Doctor asked.

"No! Bannakaffalatta."

"To tell people that you couch a lot?" The Master quipped, and the Outcast hit him in the back of the head and shook his head at him.

"All right then, Bannakaffalatta. There's a gap in the middle, see if you can get through."

Bannakaffalatta climbed up and said, "Easy, good." And climbed to the other side.

"I can fit through to." The Outcast wriggled through and to the other side.

"Jesus, I'm skinny." He called back, before the ship shook.

"This whole thing could come crashing down any minute!" Rickston yelled.

"Oh Rickston, I forgot, did you get that message?" The Master asked.

"No, what message?"

"SHUT UP!" He growled, and turned to the Doctor. "Alright, how do we fix this?"

"We made it!" The Outcast cried back, and Astrid crawled towards the opening.

"I'm small enough. I can get through."

"Careful." The Doctor told her.

"I'm fine."

"Thing is, how are Mr. and Mrs. Fatso gonna get through that gap?"

"That's it." The Master turned and punched Rickston as hard as he could, easily breaking bone.

"We make the gap bigger, so start." The Doctor added, giving the Master a quick smile.

They started to take apart the walls around the gap.

The Outcast pulled Astrid up and the 3 looked around.

"You know, I might have a way to get us to the bridge faster."

"Oh?" Astrid looked over at the Outcast.

"Yeah." He answered, before taking a small purple button out of his pocket. "My friend may be angry at me. But he can teleport, you know, it's a mutation he has. I can-!"

Bannakafallata fell over.

"Oh, are you alright?"

"Yes. Ashamed." He pulled up his shirt and his chest was metal.

"You're a cyborg." Astrid said.

"Had accident… Long ago- secret."

"No, but everything's changed now. Cyborgs are getting equal rights. They passed a law back on Sto, you can even get married."

Bannakafallata looked up at her. "Marry you?"

The Outcast gasped and squealed. "Yes, yes, oh, yes, I ship it!"

"Well, you can buy me a drink first." Astrid gave the Outcast a quick glance and said, "Come on, let's recharge you. Just… stay there for a bit." Astrid went back to the gap.

"Tell no one."

"I promise."

"So do I." The Outcast smiled at Bannakafallata.

"What's going on up there?!" The Doctor yelled.

"I ship Bannakafallata and Astrid!" The Outcast answered.

"… what?!"

"I think Bannakafallata and I just got engaged!" Astrid answered, and the Doctor gave an, 'Oh!', look.

XXXPageBreakXXX

"Doctor, I've got life signs and their going out one by one!"

"What is it? Are they losing air?"

"No. One of them said it's the Host."

"I told you! I bet you're glad you listened to me!" The Outcast called to him.

"Really glad. Is the gap open yet?"

They got through the gap as fast as they could.

Suddenly the Host awoke, and it all went downhill.

The Outcast sighed and helped as many people as he could up through the gap.

"Rickston, help me!"

"No way."

The Outcast pushed against it and helped.

"Information- Deck 31."

He heard, before the Master crawled his way in.

The gap collapsed, and the Doctor checked over everyone.

"Morvin, look! Food." Foon said, and Rickston said, "Oh great, someone's happy."

"Don't have any, then." Morvin answered.

"Alright, that's enough." The Outcast turned towards Rickston and pushed him hard. He fell straight on his bottom ad hit his back on the wall. "Ow!"

"Mr. Frame, you still there?" The Doctor asked.

"Yes sir, but I've got Host outside. I sealed the door."

"They've been programmed to kill. Why would anyone do that?"

"Well that's not the only problem, Doctor. I had to use a maximum deadlock on the door, which means… no one can get in. I'm sealed off. Even if you can fix the Titanic, you can't get to the bridge."

"I can! I just have to call a very good friend of mine with this." The Outcast held up the purple button, and, recognizing it, the Master said, "Oh, not him!"

"Only as a last resort. You are the only one who liked him." The Doctor told him.

"What is on deck 31?"

"Uh, that's down below. It's- it's nothing. It's just the Host storage deck. That's where we keep the robots."

The Outcast ignored the food in favor of looking over the button.

"Merry Christmas." The Master told him, and he looked up. The Master was holding out a plate of food to him and a little dark green box.

The Outcast gave him a soft smile and took the things. "I'm sorry, I don't have anything for you."

The Master waved him off and walked away.

The Outcast ate some and was about to open the box when a bang was heard.

"It's the Host!" The Doctor cried, and the Outcast slipped the box into his pocket and ran. The Doctor opened a door and the group stopped.

A small bridge with no railing stretched across a drop.

"Is that the only way across?" Rickston asked, and the Outcast grew uneasy. "There's 2 ways across…" He answered.

"But that thing, it will never take our weight!" Morvin cried.

The Outcast cursed and turned to them.

"Alright, I didn't want anyone to know this, but… grab a hold of me."

Foon and Morvin did so, and the Outcast walked to the drop.

"Tiivad avamine."

2 wings burst from his back and he gave a cry of pain as blood splattered on the floor.

"God, damn that hurts."

He quickly flew to the other side and released his wings, falling to his knees before blacking out.

XXXPageBreakXXX

The Outcast felt someone pick him up and hold him bridal style as his head rushed.

Yelling was heard and suddenly his stomach flopped and he turned his head away from the person holding him and puked.

Pain swept across him.

"Hey, hey, you ok? Come on, come on, wake up, we need your help!" He heard someone say.

He gasped for breath and realized the sounds stopped.

"They've stopped." Astrid said somewhere in front of him.

"Gone away?" Bannakafallata asked.

"But why would they give up?" The Doctor added, and the Outcast rubbed his bleary eyes.

He looked behind him at the Master, who was looking forward at the people on the bridge- Astrid, Bannakafallata, Mr. Copper, and the Doctor.

"Never mind that, keep coming!" Rickston yelled from behind the Outcast.

"Where have they gone? Where are the Host?" The Master asked.

"I'm afraid that we forgot the tradition of Christmas." Mr. Copper said, and the Outcast immediately stood straight.

"Angels have wings." He said loudly.

A Host was floating towards them, and the Outcast cursed loudly.

"Language!" The Doctor yelled, but it seemed to have been half-hearted.

Now they were surrounded by flying Hosts, all reaching for their halos.

"Arm yourself, all of you!" The Doctor shouted, and the Outcast immediately slipped himself off the crevice and pulled himself into the whole in the metal under it, pulling the Master with him.

They stayed under there, the Outcast's chest heaving.

"Your wings are mismatched. One black and one white?" The Master gave a playful scoff.

The Outcast was about to say something, when the Doctor's cry of pain caused him to jump.

"Bannakafallata, stop!"

"No…" The Outcast whispered hoarsely.

The Master gave him a worried look.

"Bannakaffalatta, proud." Energy whirred to life, and the Outcast gave a cry of sadness.

"Bannakaffalatta, cyborg!" The energy pulse through the room, and the Outcast slipped himself upward, pulling the Master along.

The Hosts crackled and fell.

The Outcast heaved, and watched Bannakafallata sorrowfully.

"Electromagnetic pulse took out the robotics. Oh, Bannakaffalatta, that was brilliant!" The Doctor cried, and Bannakaffalatta fell over.

The Outcast and Astrid both gave a cry of surprise and rushed to him.

"He's used all his power!" Astrid cried, and the Outcast went rigid, silent tears falling down his face.

"Did good?" Bannakaffalatta asked.

"You saved our lives." The Outcast answered, biting his lip.

"Bannakaffalatta happy." He said, smiling slightly.

"W-we can recharge you!" Astrid tried, and the Outcast looked away. Mr. Copper knelt beside her… well, as much as he could on the narrow bridge.

"Get you to a power point, just plug you in!"

"Too late." The Outcast whispered, shaking slightly.

"No, but… You've got to get me that drink, remember?"

"Pretty girl." Bannakaffalatta said, before he closed his eyes.

Astrid gave a sob.

"Astrid…" The Outcast said quietly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Astrid looked to him, before going the rest of the way over the bridge and collapsing in his arms.

The Outcast stopped a second, before wrapping his hands around her. He rubbed her back and sang a soft song to her.

Astrid sobbed into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, forgive me." Mr. Copper said, reaching for him, and Astrid yelled, "Leave him alone!"

"It's the EMP transmitter. He- He'd want us to use it. I used to sell these things. They'd always give me a bed for the night in the cyborg caravans."

The Outcast let her go and stood, before going over to the door and pulling out his sonic.

"You have one of those whirry key things to?! Why didn't you use it before?!" Rickston yelled at him, and the Outcast shot him a glare.

"Bannakaffalatta might have saved us all!"

"Do you think? Try telling him that!" Rickston yelled, and the Outcast whirled around. The Host was powering up.

The Outcast cursed and the Doctor started yelling at it.

Finally he yelled, "One!"

Before the Host relaxed.

"You've been ordered to kill the survivors, but why?" He asked.

"Information- No witnesses."

"Witnesses to what?" The Master asked.

"Information- The obliteration of Earth."

"Why do you want to destroy the Earth?" The Outcast asked incredulously.

"Information- It is the plan."

"What plan?" The Doctor asked.

"Information- Protocol grants you only 3 questions."

"You could have warned us!" The Master yelled at it.

"Information- Now you will die."

The Outcast cursed, and jumped toward it, hitting it and grabbing on.

"You're coming with me!"

He pulled himself and the angel to the side and they both fell off the bridge.

"NOOO!" He heard the Doctor yell, and the air rushed around them.

Immediately once the Host hit the nuclear power thing, the Outcast snapped up, wings cutting through his skin.

Blood spurted out of his mouth as he hit the bridge and slid forward, pushing everyone on the bridge towards the exit, before pulling himself up with them.

"You are an idiot!" The Doctor cried, pulling him up and the Outcast put his arm around the Doctor's shoulders. The Master came on his other side and the Outcast's other arm went on the Master's shoulders.

The Outcast's head lolled forward and he blacked out again.

XXXPageBreakXXX

When the Outcast awoke, the Master was gone and the Doctor was dragging him along.

Astrid turned and, upon realizing that he was awake, rushed up and kissed him.

The Outcast stopped and blushed.

"Uh… Wha-?"

Astrid smiled at him.

The Doctor let go of him and said, "We're going to deck 31."

While they were being taken to the nearest figure of Authority, the Outcast was shaking his head at the Doctor.

"Did you seriously waste the first 2 questions by accidently asking very stupid questions?"

The Doctor looked away.

"Don't patronize me."

"And take me to your leader?"

"Shut up!"

They walked into a fiery room.

"Wow, now that's what you'd call a fixer-upper." The Doctor said.

"Come on then, Host with the most. This ultimate authority of yours, who is it?" The Doctor asked.

"Who do you think it is? Max Capricorn!" The Outcast gave the Doctor a look and jumped when the man rolled out the chamber.

"And I should now, cause…" The Outcast started, looking over at the man.

"My name is Max." His teeth glinted and dinged.

"It really does that?" The Doctor blinked.

"Who the hell are these people?"

"I'm the Doctor, this is my good friend the Outcast. Hello."

"Information- Stowaway." One of the Hosts said.

"Kill them." Max said.

"No, no, no, no, no, wait. You can't, not now. Come on, Max, you're giving me so much good material."

The Outcast rolled his eyes and sighed, plopping onto the floor like a child.

The Doctor gave him a look and made a joke.

The Outcast ignored them until Max said, "Host, status report."

"Information- Titanic is still in orbit."

"Let me see. We should have crashed by now."

The Outcast moved out of the way.

"What's gone wrong?"

The Outcast looked over the railing as well.

"The engines are still running! They should have stopped!"

"When they do, the Earth gets roasted." The Doctor started.

"What's the Earth have to do with any of this?" The Outcast asked.

"This interview is terminated!" Max yelled.

The Outcast looked over at Astrid.

"Business is failing, you wreck the ship, and business gets worse."

"The whole board thrown in jail for mass murder."

"While you sit there, safe inside the impact chamber."

"I have men waiting to retrieve me from the ruins and enough off-world accounts to retire me to the beaches of Penhaxico Two where the ladies, so I'm told, are very fond of… metal."

The Outcast snuck backwards and off towards Astrid.

"Hey, are you alright?" Astrid asked.

Suddenly an alarm blared.

"Engines are closing, engines are closing."

The Outcast sighed and turned into a shadow, popping back into a forklift.

"Oh Mr. Capricorn~! You should have been watching me!"

He drove it forward, and the Doctor yelled at him to stop.

The 2 vehicles pushed against each other, a Host throwing its halo at the Outcast.

"He's cut the break line!" The Doctor yelled.

The Outcast looked over at the Doctor and sighed, before bringing Max into the air with the forklift and pushing him forward.

"OUTCAST!"

Burning consumed his body and his vision was clouded with fiery gold, before he pressed a purple button.

A certain red spandex mutant was suddenly on top of him, screaming, before he used his teleport to take them away from the nuclear fire.

The Outcast stayed in the man's arms.

"Outcast, you change bodies again?"

He nodded slightly, before the Titanic wrenched up, and the Outcast dragged the man with him towards the bridge.

"Doctor!"

"Outcast, you're alive! And… Deadpool's with you…"

The Outcast nodded.

"But, uh, Doctor… I think I need a break from travelling for a little bit."

XXXPageBreakXXX

"You're going with Deadpool?" The Master asked.

The Outcast nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be back. You answer the phone when I call, got it."

"Of course." The Doctor said, and the Outcast smiled.

The Master and Doctor went into the Tardis, and as the Tardis dematerialized, the Outcast remembered the present.

He opened it and smiled as a glow covered his face.

TBC

CAST

The Doctor – David Tennant

The Master – John Simm

The Outcast – Benedict Cumberbatch

Deadpool – Nolan North

Astrid Peth – Kylie Minogue

Midshipman Frame – Russell Tovey

Max Capricorn – George Costican

Rickston Slade – Gray O'Brien

Chief Steward – Andrew Havill

Foon Van Holf – Debbie Chazen

Morvin Van Holf – Clive Rowe

Mr. Cooper = Clive Swift

Bannakaffalatta – Jimmy Vee

Wilfred Mott – Bernard Cribbins

Nicholas Witchell- Nicholas Witchell

The Host – Paul Kasey

Kitchen Hand – Stefan Davis

Alien Voices – Colin McFarlane; Ewan Bailey

Next Time:

"Donna, we have something to do together!" The Outcast smiled at her.

"Adipose industries. Okay. Fine." Deadpool rolled his eyes.

"Doctor, Master!" The Outcast cheered, wrapping his arms around them.

"I… I'll use the Master's Christmas present!" The Outcast reached into his pocket and started to pull something out.


	6. Partners In Crime (Episode 5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 5: Partners in Crime  
> 4th wall breaks in this chapter.  
> (Deadpool’s serious crazy voice.)  
> [Deadpool’s insane crazy voice.]  
> These voices will have a limited debut throughout the episode.  
> Me: So, let me do a roll call. Doctor?  
> Doctor: Here!  
> Me: Master?  
> Master: Can’t you see me, I’m right here!  
> Me: Grouch… Outcast?  
> Outcast: Yes.  
> Me: Donna?  
> Donna: Here!  
> Me: And Deadpool?  
> Deadpool: ...- it just doesn’t make sense… oh, here!  
> Me: Jesus Christ. I’m going to be making a little side story about how Deadpool and the Outcast came to meet Donna and how they lived there, but for now…. Le sigh. I have this other story for the Avengers called the Spades Chronicles. If you like the Avengers, craziness, stories about an OC getting pulled into another world (i.e. Movies, shows, books, games…) then please try it. Another thing, this story takes a long time to update because I write it while I watch the episode. I’m also thinking of changing the pairing from DoctorxOCxMaster to DeadpoolxOC. Please vote on that in the reviews, I really need to know because there may be romantic undertones in this chapter/episode and if you want it to stay the love triangle then I’ll play it off as the flirting of 2 people who live to tease and love each other platonically, like family. Alright, let’s get this show on the road.

BBC/KarrineGenesis  
David Tennant  
John Simm  
Benedict Cumberbatch  
Nolan North  
Catherine Tate  
THE LAST THREE  
Partners in Crime by KarrineGenesis a.k.a. Karrine Schwimley/Basis by Russell T Davies  
“Donna!” Lane shouted up the stairs, pacing in front of them.  
“Hold on, space boy, don’t get your panties in a twist!” Was her reply, and Lane huffed.  
Before he could yell up again, Wade came up behind him and covered his eyes. “Guess who?!”  
“Wade…”  
“Aw, you always get the right answer! But I would expect no less from an OC of your awesomeness. The Authoress must love you!”  
“... What?” He asked, giving Wade a blank look.  
Wade had his suit and mask on still, but on his head was a fedora and on his body was… a dress.  
“Alright, what is it you want? Oh, cute dress.” Donna gave Wade a throwaway compliment.  
“Donna, we have something to do together!” Lane smiled at her, not even acknowledging the weird interaction.  
“What is it?” She asked.  
“Well, you remember in the papers? ‘Adipose Industries’?”  
Donna nodded, and Lane handed her a folder.  
“OOH, LET ME SEE!” Wade yelled, pushing Lane out of the way and bounding behind Donna.  
“You could have just asked me to move…” Lane grumbled, rubbing his shoulder.  
Wade read the folder over Donna’s shoulder, then sighed.  
“Adipose industries. Okay. Fine.” Wade rolled his eyes.  
“Oi, be nice. It’s the best thing we’ve found in a while.” Donna chided him, and he nodded.  
So now here they were, travelling down a packed street.  
Lane had fitted Wade in a regular business attire suit and had used technology to, well, restore him to his former glory, so to speak.  
Lane had always liked the scars better. It showed that Wade wasn’t a prissy young’un.  
They made their way into Adipose Industries. Unbeknownst to them, the Doctor and the Master were making their way as well.  
“Wade, behave yourself. Lane, make sure to keep him and yourself in check.” Donna warned, before proceeding to the man at the door.  
“Donna Noble, health and safety.”  
“Lane and Wade, health and safety.”  
Once they were inside, Donna gave Lane a dirty look.  
“Don’t take my bit.”  
“I couldn’t think of anything else!” He hissed back.  
“We could have been police, newspaper people, bloggers…” Wade started listing, and Lane hit him on his shoulder.  
“Ow!” Wade complained.  
“Mom, Lane’s being mean to me!”   
Donna gave him a glare before the three sat into some chairs.  
“This is so boring…” Wade complained, and Lane had to agree.  
“She says no pain, but you know what this is?” Lane asked, causing Wade to giggle.  
Donna hushed them like they were naughty children.  
“Jeeze, and you wonder why we call you our mother.” Lane said blankly.  
“And here it is. You just take one capsule, one capsule, once a day, for three weeks.”  
“Mom, can we go home now?” Wade asked, and both Donna and Lane hushed him.  
“And the fat as they say…”  
The screen finished Miss Foster’s sentence; “The fat just walks away.”  
“Excuse me, Miss Foster. If I could?” A woman from the audience started, and Lane gave her a glance.  
She was important, right?  
“I’m Penny Carter, science correspondent for The Observer.”  
“We could have been science correspondents!” Wade added in a whisper.  
“Hush.” Donna told him.  
“There are a thousand diet pills on the market, a thousand con men stealing people’s money. How do we know the fat isn’t going straight into your bank account?”  
“Oh Penny, if cynicism burnt up calories, we’d all be as thin as rakes.”  
Lane and Wade snorted.  
“But if you want the science…”  
Lane gave a quiet, “Oh!” and took out his camera, turning it on.  
Lane let it record the ‘science’ the video played, and put it away once it was done.  
“But can I just ask how many people have taken the pills to date?”  
“That Penny…” Wade whispered, giving an eye roll.  
“We’ve already got 1 million customers within the Greater London area alone. But from next week we start rolling out nationwide.”  
“That’s scary.” Lane gave Donna a slightly childish look of almost fear.  
Donna nearly melted at the look.  
“That’s why we’re investigating.”  
“The future starts here. And Britain will be thin.”  
The next place the three stopped was the offices where they sold the pills.  
“Too many colors!” Lane choked a complain, rubbing his head.  
“Oh, right, your synesthesia. Why don’t you stay here, Wade will get you an ice water.” Donna told him sweetly.  
“I will?” Wade asked.  
“Yes, you will.” She answered with finality, and left.  
Wade sighed and walked off, before coming back and giving Lane the water.  
Wade suddenly gave him a worried look.  
“Are you ok, Lane?” He brought his hand up to Lane’s forehead and winced, pulling away.  
“Oh, you’re burning up…” Wade’s voice had suddenly gone serious, and Lane fell forward slightly.  
Wade caught him.  
“I think we should go home-!”  
“No!” Lane drawled, pain evident in his voice.  
Wade grimaced, then sighed. “Alright, I’ll… I’ll wait to tell Donna, ok… But if you get worse, I’m going to tell her, understand?”  
Lane watched him, then nodded resignedly and stood.  
He leaned into Wade slightly and let himself use Wade as a crutch, basically. Wade did not object. Lane looked up when Miss Foster came in. “Excuse me, everyone! If I could have your attention.” Lane beckoned Wade to hide behind a cubicle with him.  
“On average, you’re each selling 40 Adipose packs per day.” Lane peeked up to look at Miss Foster before hiding back down as the Doctor peeked up, then back down, then Donna, then the Master, then Wade. “It’s not enough. I want 100 sales per person, per day. And if not… you’ll be replaced. Because if anyone’s good at trimming the fat, it’s me.” Miss Foster breathed the next word. “Now… back to it.”  
“Ugh, that woman sickens me.” Lane said to Wade, and he nodded. Everyone in the cubicles sat back down as Wade helped Lane over to the exit, waiting for Donna. “Alright, come along, I have a list of people to check out.” Donna said, but cast a worried look at Lane. “Are you alright, sweetheart?”  
Lane nodded softly, and Donna sighed through her nose before leading the way.  
-The Last Three-  
“Stacy Campbell?” Lane asked the woman who answered the door. The 3 had decided to split up once they saw the list to cover more ground and save as many people as possible. Lane clutched the gold necklace thing Donna had given him before they separated, remembering how Wade had glanced worriedly back at Lane before he had left on his own person on the list.  
“Who wants to know?” The woman asked. “Uh, my name’s Lane, I represent Adipose Industries.” Lane flashed her his psychic paper. “And you’re on the list of our valued customers.” Stacy gave him a smile before beckoning him inside.  
“It’s been fantastic. I started the pills on Thursday, 5 days later, I’ve lost 11 pounds.” She told Lane, and he blinked in surprise. “And no side effects, not anything else?” Stacy shook her head as she primped her hair. “No, I feel fantastic!”  
The word fantastic echoed through Lane’s mind a moment, but he was thankful that it didn’t cause him to lapse into something else entirely. “It’s a new lease of life.” Stacy pulled her hair up to show her earrings. “Now, what do you think about these earrings- do they work?”  
“They match the ensemble of purple you have going on and actually are quiet appealing to the eye.” Was Lane’s automatic answer, and Stacy smiled gratuitously to him.  
“Are you going on a date?” He asked, and Stacy shook her head. “I’m doing the opposite- I’m dumping him. I can do better than him now. Hey… you look nice, appealing to the eye. Are you single?” Lane flushed at her words. “Yes, but I’m sort of pining away for someone.” Stacy shrugged. “Ah well, it’s well enough. I won’t be long.” She said as she walked down the hall. “If the taxi beeps, give me a shout.”  
Lane sat still for a few seconds before Stacy shouted again, “Won’t be long.”  
“Uh… I-its ok, Stacy!” Lane took out the gold pendant thing for a moment, staring, and then took out his sonic screwdriver. He twisted it to see what it was, and looked up sharply upon the random thought of the future before standing and running to the bathroom. “Stacy, are you ok?”  
“Oh, what are these things?!” Lane quickly sonicked the door and rushed in to see little Adipose in the sink, and Stacy growing thinner, before he sonicked Stacy and brought the gold necklace up as well, and Stacy solidified all the way, 6 Adipose monsters running around on the floor.  
“Oh!” Stacy gave a cry before Lane caught her. “Oh, don’t worry, I got ya, sh, it’s ok…” Lane helped Stacy down the stairs and onto the couch, setting her sleeping form down before leaving the house. He gave a cry of pain as a stab of agony throbbed along his abdomen, before stopping.  
Lane hid behind a small blue car as he watched the people in the Adipose vans grab the 6 monsters and drive off. “Lane!” He jumped when he heard Donna yell for him, looking up at the ginger. “Yeah, Donna?” He asked with wide eyes.  
“Did you see the little…?” Lane nodded immediately, not letting Donna finish. “Yes, I did. Where’s Wade?” He asked directly after, and Donna looked shocked at this, before her eyes widened as they started to run down a street  
Unbeknownst to them, the Doctor was on the street right across from them, looking for the Master, and following the van.  
“Stacy Campbell?” A taxi driver asked, parping his horn as he drove up to Donna and Lane. “No, sir, she fell asleep and is a little weak at the moment. Could my friend Donna and I use this taxi ride? I’ll pay double.”  
The taxi’s face lit up and he nodded cheerfully. “Where to?”  
Lane told the man his, Donna’s, and Wade’s address, the house that Wilfred Mott had bought them.  
-The Last Three-  
“So it seems we have a case of industrial espionage.” Miss Foster played with her glasses a moment before putting them onto her face. “One touch and the capsule bio-tunes itself to its owner, but someone must have introduced a second, raw capsule.”   
She leaned forward and watched the video from the camera footage through the day. “Therefore, one of these people is a thief.” She watched a moment, then paused the video and leaned forward. “There.” She stared at the video to make sure. “Oh, yes. There they are.” She sat up. “Now…” She sighed and leaned back, fixing her glasses.  
“What shall we do with them?”  
-The Last Three-  
Lane unlocked the door and stepped in, holding the door open for Donna. “You guys left me!” Lane jumped in surprise upon hearing Wade, in his Deadpool suit, standing in the hallway to the kitchen in front of the door, hand on his hips.  
“Stop being such a girl.” Lane immediately retorted, then quickly told Donna, “No offense!” Donna shrugged it off and closed the door behind her. “None taken.”  
“Look, do you never pick up your guys’ phones?” Wade whined, and Donna gave him a small glare before putting down her purse and going over to the couch in front of the TV. “Boys, why is it that 98% of the time you share your bedrooms with each other?” She suddenly asked, and Lane blushed slightly, sitting next to Donna. Wade bounced into his seat on Lane’s other side.  
“It’s more comfortable to sleep with others in the bed, because we both suffer from nightmares and people in close proximity help alieve them.” Lane explained, and Wade jumped in. “Basically, it makes us feel super safe from scary monsters in the night!”  
Donna rolled her eyes at them and smiled slightly, before suggesting, “Why don’t we go see granddad?”   
Wade instantly nodded, smiling wide at Donna. “Yes, yes, oh how I love that man! He doesn’t have the biggest fan base, but he’s a pretty great character!”  
They gave him blank looks and he just smiled wider.  
“Alright, then let’s go.” Donna stood from the couch, grabbed her scarf and coat, and went to the door. “You coming?” She asked, and Wade jumped up to follow. Lane watched them a moment, then sighed, standing to follow. “Let me just grab a Monster and we’ll be on our way.”  
Sipping delicately on the energy drink, Lane followed Donna and Wade closely behind, watching with almost jealousy as their arms looped together. “One bright day in the middle of the night.” He sighed.  
“Aye, aye, here comes trouble!” Wilfred chuckled at the 3, and Lane gave him a relieved smile.  
“Permission to board ship, sir?” Lane asked. “Permission granted.” Will said, saluting them, and Wade laughed slightly.  
“Brought your thermos.” Donna told him, handing him the red container.  
Wade landed on the floor with a smile, Lane figured at least, it was hard to tell with that mask of his, and sat criss cross applesauce.  
“Oh, ta!”  
“Have you seen anything lately?” Wade asked, leaning forward in anticipation as Lane sat back on a chair that was scattered on the hill.  
“Uh, yeah Wade, I’ve got Venus, with an apparent magnitude of -3.5. At least, that’s what it says in my little book.”  
“Hey, Lane, be the scientific encyclopedia again.” Donna told him with a huge smile, and Lane quirked a small one himself. “No, Donna, I’m not going to do that again. You were looking at me like I had just sprouted another head when I told you Pi.” Lane rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the smile that seemed glued to his face.  
“Oh, but you love us.” Wade said with a smile, again, just guessing here, and Lane nodded. “Yeah. I do.”  
“Who wants to see Venus through the telescope?” Will asked, and Wade jumped up a split second after, though Lane jumped forward to pull him back before he broke something. “Donna does.” Lane said, giving Wade a stern look, to which he pouted.  
Donna went over and put her eye to the looking scope. “That’s the only planet in the solar system named after a woman.”  
“But there’s a ton of dwarf planets, like Ceres, Eris, and Haumea.” Lane pointed out, and Will nodded slightly. “Good for them.” Donna said, smiling. “How far away is that?” She asked, and Lane answered. “162 million miles farthest away and 26 million at its closest, since Venus and Earth rotate around the sun.”  
“And you wonder why we ask you to be our science encyclopedia…” Donna said with a laugh, shaking her head as Lane blushed.  
“We’ll get there one day. In a hundred years’ time we’ll be striding out amongst the stars, jiggling about with all them aliens- sorry, Lane.” Will realized his mistake and winced. “Oh, it’s perfectly find, Will, I know you’re not used to it even if it has been a little over a year.”   
“Thanks for understanding…” Will grumbled slightly. “You know, before I met you guys, before we got a place together, before the Doctor I never did believe in aliens.”  
“Yeah, the prude does have a way of opening peoples’ eyes to the extraterrestrial.” Wade said, nodding a few times.  
“Hey, I don’t suppose you’ve seen a little blue box?” Donna asked her granddad.  
“Yeah, the man inside hasn’t taken any of my calls, even though he promised.” Lane pouted, leaning against Wade as he watched with half open eyes.  
The Monster sat dejectedly beside the 2, obviously not taking effect on the Time Lord, as he started to drift into the land of unconsciousness.   
Lane awoke softly to feel a warm body laying closely next to him in the king sized bed, eyes opening to see the familiar scarred face of Wade, sitting up slowly as to not awaken the man beside him. Donna was right to ask questions. They never really did seem to sleep by their selves anymore.  
-The Last Three-  
“Oh, fascinating!” The magnifying glass the Doctor was looking through was positioned over a gold capsule. “Seems to be a bio flip digital stitch, specifically for-!”  
“Doctor, please, I think I understand just as much as you.” The Master gave him an unimpressed look and the Doctor pouted faintly. “Outcast would have listened.”  
The Master snarled slightly. “Yeah, I know, he’s so much better than me, huh?!”  
“I never said that!” The Doctor yelled back before calming himself. “What do you think he’s up to, anyways?”  
The Master relaxed slightly and mused, “I bet he’s going around looking for alien threats.”  
The Doctor snorted at that. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”  
The Master watched the Doctor for a few moments before sighing through his nose. “Alright, tell me all the science.” The grin on the Doctor’s face was worth listening to him babble.  
-The Last Three-  
“Shotgun!” Wade yelled before Lane could ask to sit in the front with Donna, but he conceded, pouting in the back as Donna started up the truck. “You know, pooling our money together for the truck was probably one of our most sensible ideas.” Lane said from the back, and the 2 in the front agreed whole heartedly. Wade was dressed in his business attire and fixed face again, the same as yesterday, and Lane scowled slightly when he thought of it.  
The truck finally parked and all three got out, the 2 ‘men’ following Donna with smiles plastered on their faces, completely missing the TARDIS materializing behind them.  
They got inside fairly easily, just walked through the door, to the telephone room, and to the bathrooms.  
That was where they separated.  
“Ok, I’m going in the women’s bathroom, you both go in the men’s, ok?” Donna asked, though they could tell there was no negotiation about that.  
“Yes, mother!” Wade chirped, dragging Lane inside hurriedly before Lane could speak with Donna.  
They picked a stall together and started talking adamantly about anything and everything.  
Meanwhile, outside, Miss Foster walked through the telephone room speaking with her guards. “Keep an eye out- they’ll be back. And then… they’re mine.”  
Finally it grew night time as Lane stretched slightly in the cramped stall, making sure to not kick Wade during this. He turned to open the stall and they walked out. There was the sound of people going to the bathroom and Lane hurriedly jumped into a stall, locking it before Wade could go in.  
“Yeah, leave me to get caught!” Wade hissed quietly before going into the stall on beside Lane’s, closer to the door. The door opening startled them and they tensed.  
“We know you’re in here, so why don’t you make this nice and easy and show yourself?” Miss Foster’s voice rang out, and Lane quickly stopped his breathing, along with Wade. They were so lucky they both had quirks that allowed them to hold their breath for almost 15 minutes at a time.  
Lane pulled his feet up to the toilet and ceased all movement, panicking in his mind slightly.  
“I’m waiting.” There was more silence as Lane listened to his heart start to pound harshly against his small chest. “I warn you, I’m not a patient woman. Now, out you come.” Wade put his hand underneath the stalls a split second and flashed the retreat sign. Realizing what this meant, Lane flashed a sign of protest, before Wade slammed open the door and walked out. “Ok, Miss Short-term. I’m here.”  
Miss Foster smiled ruefully at Wade. “My friend has been through all the documents, and they have all been faked. What is it you’re not telling us about those pills, then?”  
“Oh, I think I’ll be conducting this interview… Deadpool.”  
Lane gave a shaky breath when he waited a few minutes after the group left, before heaving himself up and leaving to find Donna.  
“They took Penny from the bathroom, I thought I was done for! Where’s Wade?” Donna whisper yelled to Lane, and he bit his lip. “They took Wade.”  
Lane grabbed Donna’s hand and took them to the door to listen into Miss Foster’s office.  
“… can’t tie me up!”  
“I’m sorry, you’re a little too old for my tastes!” Lane glanced at Donna at the same time as she did him with a look that read, ‘seriously’? “Wade…” They said in unison, shaking their heads before pressing their ears back to the door.  
“What sort of a country do you think this is?!” Penny yelled at Miss Foster, and Wade sat with a glare towards Miss Foster, awaiting sometime to give her a scathing remark.  
“Oh it’s a beautifully fat country.” Miss Foster answered.   
“You know, America is the fattest country in the world. Or Mexico. Why did you pick Britain?” Wade asked.  
“Maybe I traveled a long way to find obesity on this scale and didn’t want to keep looking.” Miss Foster barked at him, and Wade grinned slightly.  
“So come on then, Miss Foster,” Penny spat the name as if it were fake. Because she knew. “Those pills- what are they?”  
Miss Foster looked her up and down a moment. “Well, you might as well have a scoop, since you’ll never see it printed.” Miss Foster picked up the Adipose pill on the desk. “This… is the spark of life.”  
Lane grit his teeth at that slightly.   
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Penny asked, as Wade scoffed. “I doubt you made a pregnancy pill. What, does it turn your fat into little monsters?!”  
[Whoa, I think we hit the nail right on the head!]  
(She looks like she’s pissed, I suggest we hit the deck.)  
“Oh, so you knew already.” Miss Foster grit out, glaring with her striking blue eyes at Wade, and he shrugged.  
[Uh, I don’t think that extinguished the fire…]  
“Yes. Officially the capsule attracts all the fat cells and flushes them away.”  
“But unofficially it’s making little mini gremlins made of human fat.” Wade butted in, glaring slightly at the woman.  
“I’m surprised you never asked my name, I chose it very well.” She leaned forward, glancing at the 2 with wide, manic eyes. “Forster. As in ‘foster mother’.”  
The Doctor glanced up at the window weirdly, and the Master beside him wrinkled his nose at the words.  
“And these…” Miss Foster opened a drawer and brought out an Adipose.  
[Totally called it!]  
“Are my children.”  
Penny’s voice rang out incredulously as Donna and Lane slowly went up to look out the window. “You’re kidding me. I don’t…”  
The Doctor and Master went up to, both parties completely oblivious of each other.  
“What the hell is that?!” Penny cried.  
“Adipose. It’s called an Adipose. Made out of living fat from people.” Miss Foster said, having gotten up and walked to stand in front of Penny and Wade. “From people.”  
“How could you, though?! Those people are dying.” Wade growled at the woman.  
“Growing soft, are we, Deadpool? I distinctly remember when you were a mercenary and would kill anyone and everyone for money.”  
The Doctor looked over to the other side of the room at the same time as Donna and they gaped openly at each other, before they got their partners’ attentions.  
Lane gaped at the Doctor and Master.  
‘Oh. My. God.’ He mouthed to them.  
‘Donna? Lane?’ The Doctor mouthed, eyes wide.  
‘Doctor?!’ Donna mouthed back, wide grin on her face.  
‘What the hell?’ The Master mouthed to himself.  
‘What?’ The Doctor asked.  
‘OH! MY! GOD!’ Donna mouthed, and the Doctor just grew more shocked.  
‘What have you been doing, Lane?’ The Master asked, cocking an eyebrow.  
‘How?!’ The Doctor mouthed disbelievingly.   
‘It’s me!’ Donna mouthed, pointing to herself.  
‘Yeah, I see that.’ The Doctor answered.  
‘Oh this, is brilliant!’ Donna fangirled.  
‘What the hell are you both doing there?!’ The Doctor mimed.  
‘I was looking for you!’ Donna mimed back, and the Doctor pointed to himself in skepticism. ‘What for?!’  
‘Lane was reading for stuff to do and we found this place with the little fatty monsters. Lane and Wade have been living with me in a house we share and we snuck in, Wade got caught, then they were talking, and I peaked up, and there was you!’ The Doctor nodded as if he didn’t actually understand what she had mimed.  
Donna started to mime again, jutting her thumb toward where Miss Foster was, then froze as she realized the woman was watching them.  
Miss Foster looked between the 2 Time Lords and Donna and Lane.  
“Are we interrupting you?”  
The 2 groups looked to each other with open mouths.  
‘That way!’ The Doctor pointed to his right with his head and Lane and Donna went that way, running.  
“Get them.” Miss Foster said darkly, pointing toward where Donna and Lane had been.  
The Doctor pulsed his sonic at the door the 2 had been previously so the guard would not get them as easily.  
“And them.” Miss Foster added when she saw this, pointing to the 2 Time Lords.  
“Of all the places, Doctor!” The Master growled as the Doctor made the lift they were on pull up.  
Lane ran behind Donna up the red metal stairs quickly, cursing his inability to watch 2 things at a time.  
“I mean, I thought we were trying to leave Lane alone, not go straight to where he is!” The Doctor gave the Master a glare and bounded down the stairs that was connected to the lift they just got off, running across the roof and into the plant room. “I’m just saying…” The Master grumbled.  
Wade waited until both armed men and Miss Foster left the room before slipping his knife through the ropes holding him and cutting Penny loose. “I suggest you leave before things get to hectic.” He told Penny, running out the room to find Lane and Donna.  
Penny watched a moment then went to the door, before thinking a second, then going back in to look through the files.  
Lane’s chest heaved as another pang of throbbing ripped through him and he bent over.  
“Oh, Lane, come on!” Donna helped Lane up the rest of the stairs and winced at his temperature. “You’re burning up!” She stated, before jumping in shock as Wade, now in his Deadpool suit, landed in front of them.  
The Doctor and the Master decided to show up at the same time.  
Lane immediately straightened and grinned widely.  
“Doctor, Master!” He cheered, wrapping his arms around them.  
“Oh, Outc-!” The Master started, before Wade cut him off. “Uh, don’t call him that, he likes Lane better.”  
“Oh my god, I don’t believe it!” Donna cried once Lane let them go and hugged the Doctor tightly.  
They separated and the group spread out slightly, Lane leaning into Wade as a new burst of fatigue rushed through him.  
“You’ve even got the same suit.” Donna cried, before giving the Doctor a patronizing look. “Don’t you ever change?!”  
The Doctor gave an almost pout. “Yeah, thanks Donna, not right now!”  
“How do you know her?” The Master asked him.  
“On my wedding day I got transported into the TARDIS by hewey particles or something.”  
“Huon particles, my dear Donna.” Lane corrected, giving her a half smile.  
A rattling got their attention and they looked down to see the armed guys running up the stairs.  
“Just like old times!” The Doctor yelled to all of them as he took Donna’s hand and Wade picked up Lane bridle style, ignoring the glare sent by both of the other time lords.  
Lane giggled slightly as Wade carried him up the flight of stairs.  
Only when they got to the top of the roof and the Doctor sonicked the door behind them did Wade set Lane down, who swayed slightly on his feet before righting himself.  
“Cause I thought, ‘how do you find the Doctor?’ And then I just thought, ‘Look for trouble and then he’ll turn up!’ So the 2 boys and I looked everywhere. Oh, you name it, there was UFO s-sightings, crop circles, sea monsters…” They ran to follow the Doctor to the lift, Donna already out of breath. “W-we found them all!” Donna cried as the Doctor sonicked the controls. “All that stuff about the bees disappearing-!”  
“Bees disappearing?” The Master asked warily.  
Donna shrugged. “I don’t know, that’s what it says on the internet. But at the same site there was all these conspiracy theories about Adipose industries and Lane brought them to my attention because he wanted to take a look!” She said excitedly, and the Master chose this time to ignore her again.  
“Cause the thing is, Doctor, I believe it all now. I’ve been living with a Time Lord and a super powered spandex wearing man with voices in his head for at least 18 months, and my eyes are now open. All those amazing things out there- I believe them all!”  
“Of course, apart from that replica of the Titanic flying over Buckingham Palace on Christmas day.” Wade said acerbically, rolling his eyes as Lane laughed whole heartedly, leaning into Wade again.  
“Well, yeah, that’s got to be a hoax.”  
“In you get.” The Doctor told Donna suddenly, getting into the lift. The Master followed and Wade half carried Lane into it.  
“What, in that thing?” Donna asked, looking skeptical.  
“Yes, in that thing. Come on, Darla, or we’ll leave you on the roof!” The Master glared at her, and Lane hit him harshly. “First off, her name is Donna, and second off, don’t be such a jerk!” He hissed.  
“But if we go down in that, they’ll just call us back up again.” Donna pointed out.  
“Nah, the Doctor fixed it with his sonic.” Donna nodded and gave an, ‘oh’ look on her face before rushing up.  
“Yeah, I’m the only one that can control it unless she has a sonic device herself, which is very unlikely.”  
Lane straightened with an open mouth and jumped out.  
“Fudge muffins, she does!” He gave a… curse? Sort of…  
Lane used his own sonic to force the lift down and he deadlocked it.  
“No, Lane!” He heard them yell up, but he stayed put to guard the lift. The lock on the door disengaged and Lane jumped harshly, pulling out his purple sonic as the 2 armed guards pointed their guns at him.  
“Psych!” Lane yelled, disengaging the guns with his sonic.  
“Oh, we can’t have that.” Miss Foster said, a blank look on her face. She pulled her sonic pen out and pointed it to the lift, before Lane tackled her to the ground and threw the sonic pen over the roof, it landing in the lift.  
“Why you-!” Miss Foster nearly cursed before pushing Lane off and standing.  
“Get him.” She deadpanned, before an armed guard hit him in the head with the butt of his gun, and it was all that was needed to send Lane into unconsciousness.  
“We need to go and save him!” Wade cried when the sonic pen fell to the lift, and it stopped.  
“No, no, what happened?!” The Doctor yelled, and tried to open the windows, but Miss Foster deadlocked the building.  
“I can’t get it open!” The Doctor yelled, sonicking the window more feverishly.  
“Well, then let’s smash it!” Wade suggested, grabbing the wrench from the floor and hitting the window over and over again, but it didn’t open.  
Miss Foster watched them with a smile, before opening Lane’s shirt and grabbing the sonic from his pocket, lighting the wire on an almost fire.  
“Oh, shit, she’s burning the cable! No, Lane, where is he?!” The Master cried.  
The cable snapped and threw the people in it to the side. The Master grabbed a hold of the side of the lift and stayed in the car with the Doctor. Wade jumped up and grabbed the other wire, standing on the top of the lift. Donna slid down and held onto the wire holder at the bottom.  
“DONNA!” Wade and the Doctor screamed to her in panic.  
“DOCTOR, WADE!” Donna squealed back in fear.  
“Hold on!” The Master cried back, and Donna glared at him, yelling back in anger, “I am!”  
The Master and Doctor tried to pull Donna up to the car lift, but she didn’t get pulled up very far. “DOCTOR!”  
Wade looked up to see Miss Foster going to the other wire and point Lane’s sonic at the wire.  
He automatically grabbed the sonic pen from the lift and used it on Lane’s sonic. It sparked and hurt Miss Foster’s hand, and she dropped it. Wade caught the sonic and climbed the wire to open the window.  
“This is all your guys’ faults! We should have stayed at home!!!” Donna yelled up at Wade.  
“Hold on, mom, I’ll get you up!”  
“… Mom?” The Doctor asked.  
Donna gave a slight shrug before gasping when the movement strained her hands.  
Wade finally got in and rushed into the room he had been tied up in before, but stopped. “What the hell are you still doing here?!” He asked her loudly.  
“I’m a journalist.” Was her answer.  
Wade rolled his eyes and grabbed Donna’s legs.  
“AAH! GET OFF!”  
“Mom, stop your kicking, I’m trying to save you!”  
“Oh, right…”  
Wade pulled her in and used the sonic pen to pull the lift down so as to save the Doctor and the Master.  
“Now, we better go find Lane.”  
“And you, do yourself a favor and get out now.” The Doctor told Penny before the group ran off.  
Penny thought about it again, then sighed, grabbed the papers, and ran out the room.  
The Doctor put his hand up to stop the rest of the group when they ran into Miss Foster, the 2 armed guards, and Lane being dragged on his knees by one of them, blood drying on his left temple.  
“Lane!” The Doctor cried.  
“Oh, he’s fine, the least of your worries right now. At last.” She added suddenly, taking her glasses off.  
“Hello~!” Donna said.   
“Nice to meet you, I’m the Doctor.”  
“The Master.”  
“You know me!” Wade added.  
“The Quintuplets in Crime.”  
The Master suddenly snorted in laughter.  
“And evidently off-worlders, judging by your sonic technology.” Miss Foster added.  
“Oh, right, I still have that sonic pen of yours.” Wade said smugly, twirling it in his fingers. “I like it, it’s very sleek.” Wade showed them.  
“Kinda sleek.” The Doctor admitted.  
“Definitely sleek.” Donna added.  
“If you were to sign your real name, what would the paper say?” The Master asked.  
“Matron Cofelia of the Five-Straighten Classabindi Nursery Fleet, Intergalactic Class.” She answered truthfully, and the Master’s eyebrows shot up, mouth open slightly.  
“A wet-nurse.” The Doctor clarified.  
“Oh.” The Master scowled at his awe of the title when all it had meant was ‘a wet-nurse’.  
“Using humans as surrogates.”  
“I’ve been employed by the Adiposian first family to foster a new generation after their breeding planet was lost.”  
“Another planet lost…” Wade whispered, remembering the conversation he had had with Lane a few months ago.  
Awhile later, Lane awoke groggily to find himself alone in a dark room, struggling to breath. He groaned in pain and pulled himself off the floor, throwing open the door and rushing down the flight of stairs he found in front of him, getting to the closet that the Master, Wade, and Donna surrounded, the Doctor inside trying to stop the full immersion.  
“It won’t work, I only have one gold capsule!”  
“And I kind of lost the other one.” Lane admitted, jumping when they turned and he was attacked with hugs.  
“You’re ok! That’s good. But it’s going to turn all the humans’ bodies into fat monsters and there’s nothing I can do to stop it!” The Doctor yelled, real fear in his eyes.  
Lane looked between them, mind working in overdrive.  
“I… I’ll use the Master’s Christmas present!” Lane reached into his pocket and started to pull something out.  
“What did he get you?” Donna asked in real curiosity.  
In Lane’s hand was a long orange rod with a dark blue circle on the end and a star in the circle which was the same color as the circle.  
A beam of orange colored laser bit into the machine in the closet and suddenly everything went dark.  
“Did it work?” Wade asked suddenly.  
Suddenly another language filtered through the machine.  
“They knew…” The Master whispered.  
“We’re not the ones in trouble now.” Wade said, smirking.  
Then they were off running.  
-The Last Three-  
The view of millions of Adipose babies flying into the air from the beams of light stopped the group from moving.  
Wade whistled.  
“What are you going to do then? Blow them up?” Donna asked the Doctor.  
“No, they’re just children, they can’t help where they came from.” The Doctor answered, watching all the babies go up to the ships.  
“Oh, well that makes a change from last time. That Martha must have done you good. Lane must have done you good. Hell, the Master must have done you some good to.”  
The Doctor nodded. “Yeah. They did, didn’t they?”  
The Doctor sniffed. “Martha fancied me.”  
Donna laughed. “Mad Martha, that one. Blind Martha, charity Martha.”  
“Donna…” Lane warned, and Donna shut her mouth.  
One of the Adipose waved to the group and Lane squealed slightly when it winked. The others waved back.  
“I’m waving at fat…” Wade pouted, and Lane rolled his eyes, poking him in the stomach playfully. “Hush, you.”  
“Actually, as a diet plan, it sort of works.” The Doctor suddenly realized.  
“You know, if we didn’t look into this, everyone would be happy. The Adiposians would have their children, our world would be less fat. She wouldn’t have fully converted anyone into the Adipose…” Wade stated, causing the others to wince.  
“There she is!” The Doctor suddenly cried, pointing to Matron as the others followed.  
“Matron Cofelia, listen to me!!” The Doctor yelled.  
“Oh, I don’t think so, Doctor. And if I never see you again, it’ll be too soon.” Lane cursed.  
“They’re going to kill you, Matron! They know how much trouble they would get in for breeding on a Level 5 planet, they’re going to get rid of the evidence, blame it all on you!”  
“Why does no one ever listen?” The Doctor asked Lane, then yelled to Matron Cofelia, “We’re trying to help! Just get across the roof!”  
“Can you shift the levitation beam?” Lane added. “So you can arrest me? I don’t think so.”  
Lane growled and brought out the long rod again, showing itself to be a scepter, and he pulled her out of the beam just as it collapsed on itself, saving her life, and he whispered for the scepter to send her to planet Scolio.  
“Where did you send her?” The Master asked with curiosity. “Planet Scolio.” Was his answer, before they got down the stairs.  
The Doctor used his sonic to fix the sonic pen and modify it as Lane integrated his sonic with the scepter, and nodded in satisfaction before turning it small and putting it in his pocket.  
“Here you go, Master. I still don’t trust you with anything more complicated.” The Master gratefully took the pen, then scowled. “This?! It’s a toy!”  
“It’s better than nothing.” Was the answer he got.  
“So then, TARDIS! Come on!” Donna grabbed the Doctor’s arm and started to pull him. The others shrugged, and Wade squatted down so that Lane could climb onto his back. Lane did so, wrapping his arms around Wade’s neck and pinning his knees to Wade’s hips, resting his head in the crook of Wade’s neck.  
Wade smirked at the Master’s scowl, and they followed Donna and the Doctor.  
When they got to the alley, Donna’s mouth fell open.  
“Hey, that’s our truck!” Wade cried.   
“That is like destiny.” Donna squealed.   
“And we’ve been ready for this!” She added, opening the trunk of the truck and pulling out tons of suitcases, some with red and black (indicating that those were Wade’s), some bright orange ones (indicating they were Lane’s), and the rest, which were Donna’s.  
“We packed ages ago, just in case. Cause I thought, ‘hot weather, cold weather, no weather! He goes anywhere, we’ve got to be prepared!’”  
“Yeah, Doctor, you’re not leaving us behind.” Lane warned, though he was dozing on Wade’s back. The Doctor gave a scowl when he saw Wade’s hands behind his back grabbing onto Lane’s thighs and arse.  
Before he could speak, though, Donna added a hat box onto the pile of suitcases in the Doctor’s arms.  
“You’ve got a-a hatbox.” He stuttered.  
“Planet of the Hats, I’m ready!”  
Once all the suitcases were out on the street, she asked, “I don’t need injections, do I? You know, when you go to Cambodia, is there any of that? Cause my friend Veena went to Bahrain and she…” She stopped at the look on the Doctor’s face.  
“Doctor…” Lane grumbled, and Wade shivered at the vibration on his neck.  
“You’re not saying much.” Donna suddenly said.  
“No, it’s just… it’s a funny old life… in the TARDIS.” The Doctor told her, and her face fell.  
“You don’t want me.” Donna said quietly.   
“I’m not saying that.”  
“But you asked me.”  
“He asks anyone and everyone who gives him a nice adventure.” The Master snarked.  
The Doctor and Lane shot him a glare, which effectively shut him up.  
“Would you rather stay alone in the TARDIS with that man?” Donna asked, pointing to the Master.  
“No. Actually, no.”  
“Hey!” The Master yelled indignantly, but Lane and Wade hushed him. Wade jumped Lane up his back to re adjust, and Lane gave a small squeak.  
“But the last time…” The Doctor put Donna’s suitcases in his hand down. “With Martha, like I said, it… it got complicated.” The silence got heavy around them. “And that was all my fault.” The Doctor shuddered slightly.  
“I just want a mate.” Lane smiled. Knowing Donna, she would think mate as in repopulation, when the Doctor meant mate as in friend.  
“You just want to mate?!”  
“I just want a mate!” The Doctor corrected, but Lane, Wade, and the Master were already in fits of laughter.  
“You’re not mating with me, sunshine!” If it was possible, their laughter grew louder.  
“A mate- I want a mate!”  
Donna stepped out of the TARDIS. “Well just as well, because I’m not having any of that nonsense! I mean, you’re just a long streak of nothing, you know, alien nothing!”  
“There we are, then!” The Doctor said, nodding.  
“Ok.” Donna fixed her shirt and they stared at each other, before Donna realized what he meant. “I can come?”  
“Yeah, course you can, yeah. So can Lane.”  
There was silence.  
“What about me?!” Wade yelled incredulously.  
“Weeellll…” The Doctor drew out, and Donna, Lane, and possibly Wade glared at the Doctor.  
“Fine, him to…” He conceded, and the Master groaned.  
“Oh, yes that’s just… car keys!”  
The awkward silence started as Donna rummaged in her pocket.  
“What?” The Master asked.  
“We giving the truck to Sylvia or Will?” Wade asked.  
“Granddad, of course.”  
Donna ran off and the men stayed still until she came back.  
They started to bring the suitcases into the TARDIS.  
Lane stopped suddenly as familiar song started in her mind.  
“Doomsday…” He whispered to himself.  
“Off we go then!”   
“Here it is, the TARDIS. It’s bigger-!” The Doctor started.  
“Doctor, everyone has been through this already, you don’t need to do this routine again.” The Doctor pouted slightly.  
“Though, frankly, you could turn the heat up…” Donna shivered, arms crossed to keep in her heat.  
“So, whole wide universe.” The Doctor went to the controls and looked to Donna. “Where do you want to go?”  
“The hill.” Donna, Lane, and Wade said in unison.  
-The Last Three-  
Wilfred Mott sipped on his drink and turned before looking up at the TARDIS in the sky with a shocked look.  
“Ah, Donna!” He yelled, and the door opened.  
“It’s- It’s the flying blue box!”  
He looked through the telescope to see Wade, Lane, and Donna in the doorway, waving to him.  
“That’s, that’s them! Donna! Wade! Lane!” He cried.  
“Donna! And that’s him- that’s him!” He cried, seeing the Doctor in the background. He yeehawed and threw his beanie into the air.  
“HEY! THAT’S HIM!” He laughed, spinning slightly.  
“Go on girl, go on, get up there you guys!”  
He smiled as the TARDIS flew away.  
“I knew I trusted those 2 for a reason.”  
Next Time on The Last Three:  
“Ancient Rome!” The Doctor declared happily. “Ugh, it’s dirty.” Wade complained.  
“This is fantastic!” Donna cried happily.  
“It has come, the blue box.” One of the woman seers said.  
“I see the most terrible things.” The young woman explained.  
“The prophecies of women are limited and dull. Only the men folk have the capacity for true perception.” The man said, and Lane stuck his tongue out discreetly at him.  
“I’ll tell you where the wind’s blowing right now, mate.” Donna rolled her eyes.  
A circuit board made of stone sat in front of the Doctor.  
“Doctor, you bring bad luck on this house.”  
“We are building the future as dictated by the gods.”  
Donna screamed as woman grabbed her from behind.  
“I demand you tell us who you are!” Lane cried angrily, holding his scepter up in an offensive position.  
“DOCTOR!” Donna screamed in terror.  
“The sky is falling!” A man cried in awe.  
“Oh my god. We’re in Pompeii!” Wade cried. “You know another thing?” The Master asked, and the others looked to him. “It’s volcano day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor – David Tennant  
> Donna Noble – Catherine Tate  
> Lane Valentine (The Outcast) – Benedict Cumberbatch  
> Wade Wilson (Deadpool) – Nolan North  
> The Master – John Simm  
> Miss Foster – Sarah Lancashire  
> Wilfred Mott – Bernard Cribbins  
> Sylvia Noble – Jacqueline King  
> Penny Carter – Verona Joseph  
> Stacey Harris – Jessica Gunning  
> Taxi Driver – Jonathan Stratt  
> BBC Wales/KarrineGenesis  
> Me: FINALLY! REVIEW, FOLLOW, FAVORITE, PLEASE, THIS TOOK ME FOREVER!!!!!  
> Deadpool: … -_-“….


End file.
